Well bless you for keeping her in your home. I was at home for a very long time and my family and husband did their best. Its exhausting constantly caring for somebody who is profoundly disabled. I understand the feelings of isolation well. Here I recieve constant care. I have grown to love many of the other residents of our facility. You would be supprised how many younger people are here. But yes most are very old. I spend much of my time in bed. But at least once a day my nurses get me into my wheelchair and we spend time in the lounge area with other residents. Everybody here knows me and knows my situation. As you can imagine I'm not the only person here with incontinence issues. So its really not a big deal. Yes at some point surgery to reroute my bladder & bowel would or could be a option. But I have had several other surgerys in the last 14 years. Each time it profoundly effected my MS and body leaving me even more disabled. So I could have the surgerys but end up loosing my ablity to speak or use my left hands fingers. Or just remain in diapers for now. I have a feeling your wife is facing the same. Incontinence is managable and although not exactly a easy thing to deal with its not that big a deal. My bladder drains at all times basically dribble and ocasionally I wet more. My bowel is mostly active after breakfast and before noon. My nurse normally keeps me in a basic full incontinece brief(diaper) Through out the day. And then overnight briefs with a booster pad during the nights and morning. I am kept on a disposable underpad incase of wet or messy leaks.