First and foremost---talk to your doctor. I work in a physical therapy office that specializes is pelvic floor disorders. Kegels work if done properly. If not done properly can do more harm than good. We use biofeedback to show the strength and or weakness of the muscles that support the bladder. We have a 94% improvement rate among men & women. Men who come for therapy prior to having their prostate removed do so much better after surgery than men who do nothing. A large number of our patients go from wearing several pads a day to not wearing any at all. You should talk to your doctor and asked to be treated by a therapist who specializes in this problem. You'll be taught pelvic floor strenghtening exercises that will benefit you in controlling the "urge" and being able to "hold it". It worked for me!