Too sensitive about the use of the word "Migraine"?

Katinthecorner Community Member
  • I had plans with a friend on Monday.  I had to cancel because I had a migraine.  She said "Oh, I'm about to get Migraines too because we're remodeling the kitchen".

     

    I feel like I'm nitpicking, but I'm furious about this.  I mean LIVID.  Is remodeling going to give you vertigo?  Make you throw up?  Cause a digestive fiasco that I won't get into?  Lay you out for a few days?  Send you to an ER?  Are changing your cabinets going to give you a life long neurological disease?  Those must be some cabinets! 

     

    I expect it from the media, and people I don't know, and the people who make Excedrin Migraine, but this is someone who I've been friends with for over 10 years, and knows perfectly well I suffer from Chronic Migraines (and I would think has at least some idea of how much I suffer since my Face Book feed is pretty much devoted to how lousy I feel or how much my head hurts).  I would have picked a fight then, but I just felt too lousy to get into a confrontation. 

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    Am I just being too touchy?  In all honesty, my head isn't doing so well which makes me pretty moody.   I feel like I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill, but by her saying that it's like making a mole hill out of my mountain.  It trivializes my disease, and it really upsets me. 

     

    I guess I'm just dissappointed.  I've tried to educate my friends over the last three years, and still the only people I know who "get it" are the friends I've made here, and a few others who have or have had a migraine.  I feel like I should correct her, but partly I feel like there is no point. 

Published On: February 22, 2011
4 Comments
  • Nancy Harris Bonk
    Health Guide
    Feb. 24, 2011

    I don't know if you are being too critial, maybe a bit sensitive due to the pain. If your friend has been with you for 10 years with Migraine disease, she may have been just expressing her disappointment in not seeing you. Granted, it wasn't a great way to do it, and it could have come out better, but she probably misses you.

     

    Now that is not to make...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I don't know if you are being too critial, maybe a bit sensitive due to the pain. If your friend has been with you for 10 years with Migraine disease, she may have been just expressing her disappointment in not seeing you. Granted, it wasn't a great way to do it, and it could have come out better, but she probably misses you.

     

    Now that is not to make you feel guilty, because taking care of you is most important. Our friends, family and loved ones just have to "get over" themselves when we aren't up to doing thing.....

     

    What do you think?

     

     

    • Katinthecorner
      Feb. 25, 2011

      This is why I bounce things off people before I act out and do something dumb Laughing

       

      I know when I'm in pain (which is a lot of the time) I'm not really a rational person.  I figured I was being overly sensitive. 

       

      Thanks Nancy =)

    • Nancy Harris Bonk
      Health Guide
      Feb. 26, 2011

      I totally understand 

    • dizzygrl
      Mar. 03, 2011

      I totally understand what you mean about people "not getting it." Sometimes when I have to cancel things because of a migraine, people respond like "just take an aspirin" or "oh, c'mon, you'll be fine." Or they assume I'm just whiny and lazy, when the reality is, if they could ever experience what the vertigo and nausea was like, the feeling that something...

      RHMLucky777

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      I totally understand what you mean about people "not getting it." Sometimes when I have to cancel things because of a migraine, people respond like "just take an aspirin" or "oh, c'mon, you'll be fine." Or they assume I'm just whiny and lazy, when the reality is, if they could ever experience what the vertigo and nausea was like, the feeling that something is wrong with your head and body, they wouldn't be so quick to dismiss it. I wouldn't wish a true migraine on my worst enemy.

       

      I've also had the reaction of a bit of anger sometimes when I hear people laughingly rub their head and say, "Oh, I've got such a migraine today." They have NO idea. Or when my doctor says "and how are your headaches?" when I've told him numerous times that my migraines don't include head pain often...I get the kind with vertigo, lightheadedness, tingling, etc. Calling them "headaches" seems to dismiss the whole thing as being no big deal.

       

      I'm sure it's even harder when it's a friend, someone who you've probably told about your experiences many times. The right answer is probably to shrug it off and let the comment pass, since it's a friend, but I also think I would mentally react the same way you are. I think the public needs to be educated so much more about what migraine disease is and isn't.