Migraines, Headaches, and a Disturbing Pattern

Teri Robert @trobert Health Guide
  • Those who know me well often shake their heads or dub me names such as "Digital Granny," "TechnoMom," or "Gadget Queen." I can't really say they're wrong either. I have four working computers: two desktop systems, a laptop, and a netbook. Then there's my blackberry, and... Well, you get the point. Our grandchildren love to get their hands on my purse or, better yet, my laptop bag!

    Here's the thing though. I use all of those tools. Mostly, I use them to keep on top of everything related to Migraine and other headache disorders. Part of what I try to keep up with is what YOU are saying -- on our forum, in your emails to me, in your blogs, and elsewhere.

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    In all of that reading, I've been noticing a disturbing pattern. When other people in your lives aren't supportive, many of you are losing your proactive, "fight this blasted disease" attitudes and perspectives. It seems that when the people around you aren't supportive, many of you get overwhelmed and feel like giving up.

    If your spouse, boss, children, parents, siblings, or friends aren't supportive... if they think you can "take a pill" and "get over it" quickly... if they think you should "just suck it up" and get on with things... How does it make you fee? Does it sap you of the energy and will to keep fighting to find the management regimen that will restore your health and quality of life? Does it make you feel like giving up? Please answer this poll, then click the "back" link below the results, and continue reading below the poll...

    How much does the attitude of people around you impact your will to be proactive and keep working toward better Migraine and headache management?

    I'm very happy for those of you who could answer "Not at all." You have a great support system around you! If you have any suggestions for us, please click the "Add Comment" link below this post and share them. They could help many other people find what you have.

    My heart goes out to all of you who have "doubting Thomas's" around you. We need to be surrounded by positive energy, not negative. Each of us must choose our own paths for dealing with the people in our lives, but I'm going to list some suggestions for you:

    • At some point, we have to divide people into two categories: those whose attitudes we think can be changed and those whose attitudes we think cannot be changed.
    • As harsh as it sounds, and as difficult as it may be, we may have to deem those whose attitudes can't be changed as "trespassers" in our lives. Trespassers are those who cannot be welcomed because they may cause damage or, at the very least, don't do any good. Trespassers are banished or relegated as far toward the sidelines of our lives as possible.
    • For those whose attitudes can be changed, we have options and hope:
      • The problem is often that they simply have no idea what Migraine disease and other headache disorders can do to our lives. They probably have the occasional headache that nearly everyone has, and a does of an over-the-counter medication takes care of it. They may even be Migraineurs, but they're among those Migraineurs for whom a dose of over-the-counter or prescription medication takes care of their Migraines, and they're not frequent enough to need medication. It can be very difficult for these people to understand that Migraines and headaches can be totally debilitating.
      • Educating people can help. There are some educational materials with our article Migraine and Headache Education for Those Who "Don't Get It. There's also a great deal of solid basic information in our Types of Migraines and Headaches section.
      • Sometimes, taking family members to our doctors with us can help. When they see a doctor taking Migraines and headaches seriously, it can be a wake-up call. If possible, let your doctor know in advance that you're bringing someone with you and what the situation is. Some doctors will talk to your family member and give them the opportunity to ask questions.
      • Do you know someone else who's family DOES understand and IS supportive? Sometimes, getting two families together can help. Or get your spouse together with the other person's spouse. If you want to do it covertly, invite the other couple to dinner or out for an evening. Surely, a way can be found for you to leave the room and for the understanding spouse to talk with the other.
    • In the meantime, we do understand. Writing about your situation and frustrations can help you vent. Feel free to SharePost about what's going on and how you feel. Or visit our discussion forum. You'll need to register again once there because it's a separate membership database, but you can use the same member name, email address, and password that you used here.

    You are absolutely NOT alone. We care about you, and we're here for you. Please click the "Add Comment" link below and talk with us!

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    Live well,

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    Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape© Teri Robert, 2009
    Last updated July 22, 2009


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Published On: July 22, 2009