Since December 2008, I have been going through the process of asking for disability retirement where I work because chronic headache and two or more migraines a week have been my daily norm. Management did not want my position made part-time back when I asked in the summer of 2008 because it would look like they could do the job without added people (and they want more people). I asked for telecommuting before and was told the position doesn't fit the mold. Job sharing was also denied. I applied for disability retirement when personnel told me there was no chance of reassignment. In the meantime, I've worked a part-time schedule, making up the hours with unpaid leave. I've struggled even there, sometimes only working three days instead of four.
I received the letter approving my disability retirement, and the feelings I'm having are bittersweet. On one hand, I know I will have a small income and insurance, while I am continuing to find treatment that will help me get my headaches/migraine disease under control. I no longer will have to get up early to take meds in the hopes of keeping the headache that's like clockwork at bay enough to get ready. I am hoping less stress will mean less attacks, too (including a stop to ER or urgent care visits.)
I have worked for 10 years at my current job and it paid well, had great benefits and made me feel productive. I know I had only two options: the retirement or trying to go to work fulltime again. The latter would have been impossible considering my track record trying to work even part time -- I'm the worst in the morning -- but I can't help but feel like I failed somehow, even though I've seen so many doctors for each of the illnesses, fibromyalgia, TMD, migraine disease, that have made my quality of life so poor.
I know I need to accept though that I did pray for God's answer, just as I prayed before I applied. I have to trust that He will take me through this, too. He's taken me through worse!
Anyway, I thought I would share my story because I have a feeling this is normal and really I'm grieving my old self while learning to accept my new one. God bless!
I know exactly how you feel about the job and the morning. The mornings are still the worst for me. I was fired from my job due to my migraine treatments. I worked there for almost 7 years and I feel the same about feeling like I accomplished something with my job but as with you, it just wasn't possible anymore. I am glad you have been able to receive disability retirement but I understand the bittersweet feelings you have and the long journey you have had to take. I hope things go well for you and you have less migraines now that you can maybe sleep later and truely take care of yourself....which many employers make difficult at best. Good luck to you!
Lisa
Thank you, Lisa. Yes, I wish there were more office jobs in evening. I'm sorry that you were fired though for something you have no control over. That is sad to hear.