I just realized that my last post didn't fully "post"... guess it was too long? Anyway, here is the rest of it.

...One of the biggest life changes I've made this year involves taking care of my body AND mind, and I believe it may be the single best decision I've ever made. Yoga. I have the most amazing teacher who also happens to be a physical therapist that specializes in neck pain, so that is quite helpful for the headaches. I am so much more aware of my body now. But my favorite part about this teacher is his philosphy on life, and the lessons I've taken from his words during the 10 minute "shevasana" at the end of each yoga practice:

More often than I ever realized, I tend to schedule my life around what other people want. At some point during my yoga practice in the past 6 months, I realized that the majority of my time was spent doing things I felt I "should" be doing and much less of it was spent doing what I WANTED to be doing. Often, I said "yes" to activities to avoid hurting feelings. I put up with conversations that made me uncomfortable without telling others how I felt, again, out of fear that I would hurt feelings. I spent time with people who turned me into a version of myself that I didn't like. In doing these things, I made myself very unhappy and stressed. And likely, migraines resulted. Lately, I've chosen to put myself first. It may seem selfish, but in yoga, I've learned that before you can love others and show that love, you must take care of and love yourself. And there is nothing wrong with that. No matter how guilty people make me feel for not hanging out and make me feel I don't deserve that "me" time, I have to realize that I have every right to give myself that nourishment. Every once in a while, when I am overwhelmed, I have to say no to a social event, or leave the dishes and cleaning for another day, because if I don't allow myself that "me" time, the stress will come, and that's when I am most vulnerable to all of the other millions of factors that lead to my headaches. Also, as important as money is, I've realized that I can't overwork myself. I need my weekends, so I quit the hospital and gave myself back those 2 days of respite.

Of course yoga has it's physical benefits too, but more than anything, I am just so grateful for those life lessons I have taken from it.

And that's pretty much all I have to say right now. I guess in these writings I hope that I can help people understand me and others who might be going through similar things. Why at work I may not be 100%. I might seem lazy sometimes. And antisocial. Obsessed with my health and "what's wrong with me"- maybe even a bit of a hypochondriac. But unfortunately, this is what my life has been lately. It's been one of the hardest of my life. I know that this might sound strange. I don't have cancer. My blood tests are fine. I'm not dying. In that perspective, I feel a little weird saying that it's been a rough year, and grateful in a lot of ways that this has been the hardest life obstacle I've had so far. But nevertheless, it's been an obstacle, and for whatever reason, I thought this might help you understand just a little better what my life has been lately. Lastly, I am SO appreciative for the support of my family and friends. Those who frequently inquire about my health, thanks for your concern. Those who don't ask but are there, thanks for helping me forget about it every once in a while. Those who give me hugs when I need them. Those who have listened to my frequent complaining. Those who stood by even when I couldn't stop crying. Everyone else. Thanks so much for reading. I think this is really it for now.