I also have Migraine disease, and my twin sons, age 19, have it. We, as of late, have been suffering at LEAST 3 migraines a week each, alot less than it was, but now under control with treximate, but migraines, none the less. They have recently told me that the battle that we have been suffering has them both seriously thinking that they will NOT be having children because they do not want to pass this gene on. They have wished to die so often durring attacks, which I am not saying that they are suicidal, I have been there, head exploding, wishing to die, so I know, and they just do not want to pass it on. They can not hold a job right now and refuse to date. I fear I may never be a grandma, but I do not know if that is for the best! I just wish there were more they could do, at least for the next generation, I am used to the suffering, I have been doing it since I was 3, but it is so much differant to watch your children do it, knowing that it came from you! This is breaking my heart.
I'm not a mom, but I wanted to offer you ladies a different perspective.
I have chronic migraines and clinical depression. Comorbid diseases with strong gentic components. And you know what? I'm a genetic anomaly. No one in my family has a history of mental problems, and my mom has had had two migraine attacks in her life.
I say this because you really should not feel bad. Genetics is a roll of the dice at best. I apparently got every recessive gene on the chromosomes and ended up with a bunch of problems that no one in my family has. So even if you didn't have migraines yourselves, statistically your daughters have an over 30% chance of having them just by being women (as for sons I can't remember the male population stats).
The truth is, your children who have migraines are VERY lucky to have migraineur parents because they don't have to struggle with family members who don't "get it". And they don't have to hear the ridiculous "did you try...." that I have to get from my family (the latest was cutting out American cheese! HA!).
So don't feel guilty. Your children should feel lucky they have parents who help them understand and live with a disease they statistically had a good chance of having no matter what thier genes were....
Acctually, I feel lucky to have my boys, as for all these years I have suffered and been mis-diagnosed. After my mini-stroke, I was finally diagnoses and treated, and I recognized the same symptoms in my kids. I then was able to get them to my neorologist, so we all started treatment around the same time. They were there for me when no one else understood! And I for them. My husband listens intentley and understands very well for a non-migrainure.
I am a mom of two sons, 13 and 16. My 16 year old came home from school one day this year and said he lost his vision on one side and then got a headache. So of course all sorts of bells and feelings of quilt went off in my head and heart. Fortunately his pain was short and he hasn't had any other incidents. My younger son is in the midst of puberty. Nancy, when did your children start with their migraines?
I pray they will not get migraines everyday. They also know they are at risk and we talk about signs and symptoms. We also have a strong family history of heart disease. That one doesn't make me feel quilty if it is passed on. It's odd but migraines seem to be "from me", but I could just as easily "blame" their grandmother or aunt. There is no blame. We can only do the best we can with what we have been given. Support each other and trust God with the rest.
Oh my goodness, Lisa, I never responded to your post!! I am so sorry....
My daughter started getting Migraines in her mid-teens when her period became more unpredictable. My son on the other hand, had his first Migraine when he was 8 or 9.....
You are right about the blame game, it doesn't do anyone any good. Genetics are genetics. If we can identify and manage our triggers that may be half the battle.
Take care,
Nancy
Just a couple of months ago I found out that ALL my siblings get migraines. I've been getting them since I was in 4th grade but wasn't dx'd until I was in my 30's. My mom says she doesn't get migraines, only sinus headaches. But she can't stand light or noise and is sick to stomach with them, so I figure that were in the family they come from.
Lots of people, close to 90% think they has sinus trouble when they really have Migraines. You may want to take a look at this article and then share it with your mom:
Sinuses Giving You a Headache? It's Probably Migraine.
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I feel really good about being a Mom, but I was thinking about the same thing. I gave them so much good. Then I think about my health and wonder it they have it. You know, Migraines. Four of my children have Migraine Disease.
They just tell me "Mom I love you, I'll be ok." It doesn't make it better, but I'm okay with that strong bond of love.
Dutchess
Exactly, dutchess! One great big "I love you" says so much.