I wish I had something new to update. The only thing I have is more complaints about my doctor. I was supposed to see him in January and because of the snow storms in my area I had to cancel. They couldn't book me until late February and then they cancelled my appointment the day before. I was rescheduled for last week and again I was cancelled. I have gone almost 4 months without an appointment and so much has happened. They still have to call me back to reshedule. What I would like to do is blow off the doctor and tell him where he can put his appointments. In reality, I can't do that because I don't have anyone else to see. I can't go back to my previous doctor and the one I want to see isn't accepting new patients. If I am in hell now, I would be in a lot worse if I left my current doctor.

My bladder problem is getting worse and I may need to have surgery to get a device implanted to help control the pain and incontinence. My depression is borderline these days. I wake up some days ok and others I don't know how to get out of bed because I am almost 27 and I live with my parents. don't have a job, I can't progress in my relationship with my bf, and I am in some kind of pain all the time. What kind of life is this?

I continue to see a psychologist and I am doing my best to deal with the hand life dealt me, but I struggle with it because I feel it is entirely unfair when I have friends who are married, have children, have jobs, just plain live life and there is me who has none of what they have. I am always jealous. ALWAYS!

I am doing what I can to stay positive, but to be quite honest, it isn't often anymore. Its been 14 years and I keep telling myself I will get better one day. Well, I am ready for one day now!

Well, hopefully the migraine doctor will have an opening for me soon. Part of me really believes that my migraines have gotten this bad because I don't take the brand name Topomax anymore. Its the generic and since that change things have gotten bad. My insurance is making me take the generic and its like taking nothing at all, in my opinion anyway.

The insurance is not paying my doctors and I have had to deal with them at least once a week for the past 2 months. That doesn't help my migraines either. They admit it is their fault the claim isn't paid, they "re submit the claim" supposedly, but the doctor still doesnt get paid and my disability status isn't updated. I have to call them agian, and they tell me the same BS. They re submit, and the same thing happens. They are really good at breaking a person down.

Tomorrow is Monday and I get to call my primary because she hasn't returned my calls about blood work she did, and I did call her 3 times already. I get to call the migraine doctor about another appointment he will probably cancel and I get to call the insurance company about my status again. My head is pounding and my scalp feels like it needs hair ripped out. I think I should rest for my big stressful day tomorrow.