Scary Side Effects

I have several medical conditions. These conditions require me to be on medications. Most of these medications cause constipation and once I had to go to the hospital because the pain was incredibly excrutiating and I hadn't had a bowel movement in over a month. I had to talk one of my doctors into lowering the dose of one medication and another doctor into taking me off another in order to lessen the load, so to speak.

Here we are two years later, and I am close to that situation again. I won't go into all the horrid details, but let's just say I thought I was close to dying the other day. I never had a painful b.m. like this and it couldn't come out. Silmultaneously, I was having continous reflux and I thought I was going to vomit. The place I want to die is in the bathroom on the toilet.

I know of someone who died in this exact situation and that is all I could think of. This person's family was downstairs and while they had been sick for a while, suddenly their bowel ruptured and things came out the backdoor and their mouth. What a horrid way to die. I was home alone, crying, scared and had no idea what I was supposed to do. Eventually, I thought of something that I would rather not talk about, except with the doctor when that time comes, and then I cried in the shower when what could come out, came out.

You might be thinking why did I share this? It is gross and disgusting. Yes, it is entirely unpleasant and it was 10 times worse to live it. I posted it because I am wondering if anyone else out there has horror stories about their side effects. Sadly, I just can't get off all my medications because some of them do help my symptoms. The other problem is some of my doctors won't budge on letting me come off them. It doesn't matter when I tell them that I believe 100% that the medication isn't working. The doctor believes it is and won't give me instructions on how to ween off it. I just can't ween myself off it because that is just dangerous.

I am hoping that what happened to me two days ago will convince my doctor that I should finally get off that medication. It's another constipation causing med that I have never noticed to help my migraines in the 6+ years I have been on it, and I wasn't put on it for migraines, I was put on it to counteract sexual side effects of an antidepressant that I have not been on for 5+ years.

If anyone has any similar stories, or advice, please share. I want to know I am not the only one being humiliated by side effects of a medicine that I don't want to be on.