Then I start to shudder, a tremor starts inside me and my whole body trembles, all that exists now is pain. I feel nothing else, I am aware of nothing else. I now know that even death will not release me from this pain. I am pain personified; I am all the suffering and pain beyond description of the universe contained in this head and it can’t take it. I just want to blow my brains out and end it all!

I collapse to the floor, I can't even scream anymore, with what voice I have left, I'm just begging God to take me now! Kill me please!!! If you care at all, you'll KILL ME NOW!!!

Then, while begging for God to take my life, I just start crying. Crying like a baby. Crying like your spouse or child just died. I stop asking God to kill me. I just lay and cry and repeat "please stop, please stop, please stop, please stop, please ####### stop this" over and over and over.

Then suddenly (literally within 1 or 2 minutes), the "Beast" has left. It just stops with the exception of exhaustion and remembering what happened, your pain free. It just stops. It leaves me laying on the floor, I open my eyes and try to focus and wonder where the pain went. I have to take a minute or two before I can get up, but I finally do, make it to the couch and just sit and take 10 minutes to regain my senses.

This all happens for 45 minutes up to an hour or so of complete non-stop madness, insane, crippling, debilitating pain. For some people it can last well over an hour. Some people experience so much pain during an attack, they literally pass out. Their body just shuts down because the pain is too intolerably excruciating! And we can't completely relax after an attack because we know the "Beast" is going to be back in a couple of hours and do the same thing over again. For me, like I said 3 to 6 times a day, but for some, it can be 10 or more.

Clusters have been considered by medical science, literally, the worst pain a human being can endure.

They are measured on a KIP scale from 1 to 10. What I just described was a major 10, almost suicide time). Usually, on a daily basis, they are around a 7 - 8 (which by the way, you're still basically doing the same thing). Us CHer's sometimes have shadows (feelings of a cluster starting) for hours and hours and are usually a KIP 2-3 (uncomfortable, but tolerable for a bit, but after a while, you start getting testy and irritable). At a KIP 3-4, forget about trying to sleep. A 5-6, you start pacing and swearing, holding/squeezing your skull. A 7/8 is pretty much a 5-6 amplified about 5 times, and I don't have to tell you again what a 9/10 is.

Anyway, that's all I'm going to say unless someone wants to ask me. Below is the video of the last 3 or 4 minutes of a major attack. And don't forget, he's going through this for an hour or more! Please watch it.