So, today, right before I left work, I printed out a good bit of information - the flyer from Teri's headacheadvocacy.org website; Teri's letter for migraineurs; and the article on migraine basics on this website. I pinned up a copy of each on our employee bulletin board near the kitchen, and a copy of each on the outside of my cubicle. I left my name and phone extension on each, offering to answer questions. This was actually very hard for me to do, as it's a very public way of admitting I have a disease that, at this point, is very out of control and is severely impacting my life.

Statistically, 60 people in my firm - 36 in my office alone - suffer from migraine (assuming that the 12% number in the US holds true for my office). I've only discovered 3 other migraineurs in my office. It's very likely that there are others, and also likely that they are not as knowledgeable about the disease as I am (with much thanks to this website!). If providing this information helps even one or two of them, then that's one or two more people learning more about a disease that likely impacts their life in a significant way. And, even if only a few non-sufferers learn more truths about migraine disease, then that's more than would know otherwise.

It's been such a struggle for me, trying to get this under control. I'm not there yet. I'm still trying to learn to accept my illness as something I will have to manage throughout my life, that there is no one cure-all to make me feel better.

It is hard to remain optimistic through days colored with pain and sickness. Sometimes it seems impossible just to keep going, but there's nothing I can do other than close my eyes, take a breath, and hold on a little longer. Many days, it's all I can do not to give up. But giving up isn't an option. If I ever want my life back from the beast, I have to keep fighting. I know in my head that one day it will be better, but it's hard to keep believing that sometimes, to keep on keeping on, when I would just rather crawl into a hole until things get better.