keeping the romance alive in the face of the beast

Next week is Valentine's Day, followed closely by Presidents' weekend. DBF and I have planned a short little vacation for next weekend, since we both have Presidents' Day off from work. Next weekend falls conveniently between Valentine's Day and our two-year anniversary, so we decided to take a little vacation even though my migraines are still so out of control.

Last year, when my health was somewhat better, we took a trip to San Antonio. It was a wonderful trip, but a little hard on me between the flying and the intense sunlight - both big migraine triggers for me. In fact, it was on this trip when I first realized that the "headaches" I tended to get after a day in the sun were, in fact, migraines.

This year we decided to stay a little closer to home. Instead of an exotic trip requiring a lot of flying over a weekend, we're driving about five hours to Olympic National Park and staying in a lodge right on the Pacific coast. There are some key reasons why we decided on this particular trip.

The first, most obvious reason is that it's someplace we both want to go, that we've never been to. Second, it's a driving trip, meaning we have control over when we leave and how many stops we make. I don't have to worry about packing my meds or other essential supplies so I can get to them, or missing meals because of an odd flight schedule. Plus I have much less trouble in the car than I do on the plane.

Third, we chose a trip where we could both enjoy it, even if my head is really bad. Olympic National Park is a beautiful place to visit, and we can enjoy it in a variety of ways. If I'm having a bad head day while we're there, we can easily just take a drive through the park, stopping for photos. If I'm feeling better, we can take a walk along the ocean, or maybe a short hike in the park. If I'm really feeling down and out, we've booked an ocean view room, so we can stay in. There's a restaurant and small grocery store near our lodge, so staying in won't be a problem.

My illness has been hard on both of us. It has resulted in many cancelled plans. DBF does an incredible job of taking care of me, and has found the right balance between pushing me to get out of the house if I'm feeling up to it, or caring for me when I can't do much more than lay on the couch. It was important to me that we take some time for us, and leave my illness behind as much as possible. My migraines will still be a passenger on this trip, but will be much less intrusive.

Even if I didn't feel I could make a long drive, we still would have done a weekend away from our apartment. It could be as simple as checking into a hotel or bed and breakfast nearby, and acting like tourists in our own town. Sometimes doing something as simple as staying in a hotel is enough to take the focus off our day-to-day stresses, and bring the focus back to ourselves. It's important to us to carve out some time just for ourselves.