I applied for short term disability yet again, not that it will likely lead to long term disability as that seems to be a near impossible feat but it will at least get me to my new neurologists appointment. He is apparently a migraine specalist so that ought to be... something. Obviously, if you look at my previous sharepost you'll see with the chronic daily migraines, a bout of vertigo and unexplained nerve damage in my hand... things have been getting unpleasant and weird symptomatically.  Hard enough to deal with the pain without the symptoms going all haywire on you. Unfortunately, that is part of what led to this leave. I was transfered to a new office at work, for no particular reason, but rather unfortunate they chose me without asking whether it might compramise my health to be computing to work. I knew it would be more painful to drive more and not a good idea and it worried me, but it wasn't like I had a choice. Turns out the management at that branch was Way better than the previous branch in regards to having a staff member with a chronic disability so stress wise I really liked it... I hated the way my previous managed made me feel so guilty for being ill and just made things so much worse than they had to be. Unfortunately, the drive time, as well as more painful, also caused a huge vertigo issue. That vertigo problem I had been having, that 'migraine associated vertigo' is like a migraine aura on crack. And i find it is triggered by movement... plane rides, elevators and apparently driving on the highway which generally I don't do because if I can avoid it I don't drive. So I found out the hard way by triggering some serious vertigo while driving, which by the way causes anxiety, distorted vision and perception and was by far the scariest damn thing I have ever felt.  So that became an issue, which my doctor then tried to patch up by adding a medication called SERC, which actually works allright but hurts the stomach. I couldn't really take it everyday but I should have been. I sort of got used to some of the new visual distortions and took the SERC on bad migraine days on the drive home. But something about triggering this all the time sort of made my visual and perceptual auras worse overall. For some reason other than motion triggered I also get vertigo when I am waking up or falling asleep... which sucks, because it is this sensation of falling, then fine, then falling, then fine. Generally it meant in the morning if I was hit with a migraine I couldn't even walk.

It wasn't a good situation but all I could do was wait it out till the neuro appointment.  My migraines though were getting very acute.  Generally not every migraine is acute and untreatable, which is good because then at least on a moderate pain day I can not take triptans... even though the other symptoms remain problamatic. I'm not sure if it was because of the increased triggers and neurological sumptoms but the migraines being triggered were acute but I still can't treat every one. So huge pain problem, which meant huge strain emotionally which I was just trying to get through. I know when I am in a great deal of pain I tend toward depression which is dangerous and I was having some bad days. It was a concern that I was thinking about going to a shrink for, even though a pain problem is a pain problem and the emotional response to it is hard to manage when the pain doesn't end.