Husband doesn't understand

Stress isn't a trigger...but it can definatly make migraines worse! But as far as actually triggering them, no.

 

I think your husband can pop on here and find any of this useful! Teri has a great friends and family letter that may help him understand too

 

http://www.helpforheadaches.com/lwfiles/family-mig-letter.htm

 

http://www.healthcentral.com/migraine/support-162187-5.html

 

Hopefully I linked this right (linking in share posts is always tricky for me!! )

 

Good luck!

 

 

 

 

As Eileen said, stress is not really a Migraine trigger, but makes us more susceptible to our triggers. Teri Robert did a podcast on stress you may find interesting. Click HERE for more information.

 

In our forums, we also have a folder, 4 Partners, Families, and Friends that is a wonderful support system for Migraineurs families. To get to the forum, just look for the orange box marked "Manage" and click on the Migraine Forums link. Because our forums are maintained by a third party, you'll need to register for the forum. You can use the same information you used to create your community log-in if you like. If you want to go directly to the forum, you can click HERE.

I wish there was a way to make your husband more sympathetic. My best advice is have him read the actual medical diagnosis of a migraine. It is a neurological disease. That is like people telling you clinical depression is your own fault. It makes me a bit angry. It would be lovely if our brains and neurons functioned like everyone elses but they don't. Having people give you more stress about it certainly doesn't help.

The key to sympathizing with a sufferer is understanding our migraines and what causes them. A few people who made comments before are WRONG stress IS a trigger, but let me clarify. NORMAL people who experience stress don't necessarily get migraines (otherwise a lot MORE people would have migraines) rather people who have migraines (which is a disease) can get a migraine from stress. USUALLY there are other contributing factors, finding your triggers will help you prevent SOME but not all your migraines. REMEMBER the more triggers you experience the more likely you are to have a migraine (and the more likely it is that the migraine will be a BAD one). So you may be experiencing another trigger along with stress that is causing your migraines. A VERY helpful migraine website is the MAGNUM website... www.migraines.org it was very helpful in teaching me about migraines so I could share it with my husband. My husband has been VERY understanding about my migraines from the beginning (because usually when I had them they were severe enough to be disabling, causing me to vomit and unable to move, that's a little hard to ignore or say I'm crazy). I agree with you getting him to learn more about your condition is going to help him be more understanding. Also try the topamax website (even if you are not taking the drug), it gives real people giving their testamonies about their experiences with migraines, while yes it DOES push the drug topamax, I found myself saying... "Yeah! ME TOO!" If words on a page will not sway your husband, maybe hearing the voices of these women will help him hear your complaints coming from someone else, and make him realize you are NOT crazy and other people experience the same things you are! Husbands are weird we can say things until we are blue in the face, but they don't hear it (or understand it) until they hear it from someone else. We migraine sufferers are NOT whiners, not neurotic crazies, our pain is real! Without the support of those around us (especially spouses) it makes our suffering that much greater!

When people say stress is not a trigger I think they mean it is not a CAUSE, no one KNOWS what causes migraines. Many experts disagree whether stress can "trigger" a migraine, I think more agree that is DOES trigger a migraine than not, and my experience (with my own migraines) says it DOES! Mostlikely if you document your migraines you will find there might be other "triggers" for your migraines. For example you are stressed about money... that stress keeps you up at night, lack of sleep can trigger a migraine. Maybe you are stressed out at work, working hard over a project you neglect things like eating meals at a regular time (or maybe you skip meals all together) eating habits can trigger a migraine. I'm not saying stress by itself cannot trigger a migraine for you (I think it does for me, but I'm rarely THAT stressed, usually my migraines are triggered by something else). Try finding something that helps you relax, exercize, accupuncture, or massage therapy, you may find it also helps prevent your migraines!

I know what you are going through--my husband doesn't understand them either.  He can't get past the "but it's just a headache" thing.  Even though he's seen me puking, unable to walk or see, it's still "just a headache", and he expects me to be able to do things while in full blown migraine like visit his family and play with his 4 and 6 year old niece and nephew... meanwhile, I've got my head in the toilet....

 

I am thankful that in my immediate family I have a lot of support.  Most of the women (my mom, my grandmom and greatgrandmom, aunts, and cousins all get migraines) know exactly where I'm coming from, they've all experienced the hell of a bad migraine.  

 

I can also relate to my husband with not really being able to comprehend the full scope of the pain.  Even though as a child and young adult I knew migraines were agonizing and debilitating (I had seen my mother suffer for years), untin you feel that pain, you CAN'T truly know.  I've broken many bones (my current wrist break I think is #6... or is it 7?) but the pain of a broken bone is in NO WAY as intense and debilitating as a migraine.  I got my first one at 29.  In an instant, I knew and understood what my mother went through, and goes through.  To think of all the times she felt so horrible, so sick,and in so much pain, but she would muster as best as she could to make sure I got to dance class, to go to family functions, to even do the basics.  Wow.  It gave me a whole new appreciation of all that she had done, and all that she bore.  She's one tough lady!

 

The other posts refer you to some great resources.  The letter on this site is awesome, and does a great job explaining what a migraine is like.  (getting the spouse to read it can be difficult...)  I think it would also be great for him to read some of the posts here to get an idea of what migraneurs actually go through.  MAGNUM is also a great site with lots of information on migraine.