I'm not handling today very well.  For some reason, some days I feel like my emotions are just there, right below the surface.  Any little thing, and they come flying out. 

My husband called and told me he loves me and he'll wait for me.  He wants me to feel better so much.  He told me that things will get better sometime soon.  Now I find that I can't stop crying. 

I made plans with a friend to go to lunch today, but I met her and then left.  My stomach and head are not a good combination today.  Once again, plans broken by me.  I wonder if others feel they can't rely on me.  I never wanted to be an unreliable person. 

These medicines are a lot for me to handle.  I take 8 of them daily, and several affect mood or sleep.  Sometimes I feel crabby and impatient.  Sometimes I can't wake up (I mean like the entire day).  We try different doses, we try different times of day.  We try gradual changes, quick changes.  I just feel very not-me.  It's tough to explain.  I wonder if anyone even understands what I am describing...

So my husband says things will be better sometime soon.  I wonder if he really believes that, or if that is just his hope talking.  Well, I know I hope...with every medication change, I hope...

jenny