Still scary

My last severe migraine was very scary.  Just thinking about it gives me the shivers. 

I'm used to it hurting.  I'm used to the vomiting.  I'm used to feeling shaky and feeling the need to go to bed in the dark.

But last time, my new rescue med didn't work as planned.  My Imitrex failed and I needed something--anything--to take the pain down.  I was throwing up too much to keep down any pills.  Needed a shot.  Tried the injection of droperidol.  It was absolutely, completely, utterly horrible.  

I felt tired and anxious at the same time.  My hands were shaking.  I could not lie down--I had to move!  But every movement was making the pain worse!  I felt like my skin was crawling with bugs.  I felt like I was very quickly losing my mind.  

I tried ice, I tried heat.  I tried putting my pillow over my head and screaming.  I tried lying on the bathroom floor, sobbing.  I tried pacing back and forth.  I tried rocking in the rocking chair.  I tried pounding my head on the floor.   

The pain did not decrease at all.  And I absolutely could not sleep.  For many, MANY hours, I could not sleep.  I just wanted to give up.   

It was absolutely terrifying. 

My specialist's nurse said this is a common side effect.  (Common?  Why didn't anyone warn me?)  She told me I have two choices:  1) never take those shots again, or 2) try using benadryl before and after the injections.  She said the benadryl often counteracts the weird, jittery feeling.

I threw the medication vials in the trash.  I don't care if they give me a lifetime supply of Benadryl all at once--I will never experience that feeling again. 

It was like a nightmare--only it was real.  So real that it's still scary, 4 days later.

jenny