A conversation with my medications.

(Jenny opens the medicine drawer and stares in her migraine haze at the bottles waiting inside...)

OK, medicines!  I'm feeling really rotten right now.  I've had a lot of pain for a long time, so I know I need one some of you meds to step up to the plate...

OK guys, line up!  Let's put you in order of uses...abortives HERE!  Rescue meds HERE!

Maxalt melt, you look like a good choice.  You're all wrapped up so nicely in your blister pack, just waiting for me to pop you in my mouth.  I'm not sure though...You can give me rebound and I've already taken you once this week.  Also, your taste sometimes makes me throw up.  It seems like I ALWAYS have this discussion with you!!!  Should I take you?  Should I wait till a worse time comes along?  What if I take you, then throw you back up?  What a waste!  Maxalt, back in line!

How 'bout you, Imitrex injection?  Boy, I'm not sure...Is this migraine really bad enough for me to use you?  I save you for the very worst of the WORST cause you are so very expensive.  Is it worth the $$ to use you now?  At least I can't throw you up!  But you're just so darn expensive!  I don't know!  Imitrex injection, back in line!

How about you, droperidol shot?  Sure, you made me feel like I had bugs crawling all over me last time I used you.  I was so jittery that I couldn't lie in my bed for 6 hours.  But you're supposed to be terrific for nausea and you should put me to sleep.  But if I'm going to try you, I have to take an ativan pill first (doctor's orders).  Hmmm...You're too scary!  Back in line!

Maybe you, Ultram?  Do you think you can do this job?  You're not very strong.  Kind of puny, in fact.  I really don't think you have it in you.  This migraine is way too strong for you.  Back in line...

OK, phenergan suppository.  I really hate you.  You're definitely a last resort.  But if I use you, I've got a fighting chance of keeping down a pill or two.  Welll...Hmmm...You're a definite maybe!  Back in line, for now!

Pain pill?  Are you the one for this job?  I only have a few of you to last two months.  I have to choose you wisely.  I'd really rather save you for a time when I'm writhing on the floor, sobbing in pain.  You'd definitely put me to sleep and make the pain go away.  But I need to keep you for another, REALLY desperate time.  Back in line...But carefully, please!  I don't want to lose you!  I'll need you one day!

This discussion goes on and on...I never really know if I'm doing the right thing.  It's just a shot in the dark. 

OK, phenergan suppository.  As much as I hate to say it, you're up!!!