A Wasted Life
Tears drip from my cheeks
Like falling rain.
There’s just no way out
From this constant pain.
Illusive lavender colors
Of an ominous aura,
Remind me there will never be
A better tomorrow.
Only Pain; As deep as the sea,
As consistent as the ocean’s tide.
Still, I force a smile. Trying to hide the fact
That I'm dying inside.
So many tears, So many years,
So much of my life, so much of it a waste.
Craving for the morning to arrive when I wake
And the bitter pills I no longer have to taste.
No longer having to wonder what I did wrong,
What did I do to deserve this, or whom did I forsake?
Now, knowing the pain will never end, the question becomes
So clear: How much more of this can one person take?
-Julie C.
Dear Julie C.,
I understand your pessimism. I really do. Consistent migraines can be not only aggravating and painful, but as your words seem to indicate so well, demoralizing.
Pessimism says in your words that there are no better tomorrows. Pessimism
says in your words that you must have done something wrong to deserve this.
Of course, you rationally know you did NOTHING wrong to deserve all of this.
What is truth, I suppose for you and myself, as a migraine sufferer, is that there will be better tomorrows. Of course, I am typing these words feeling migraine free for the past three days. But an attack is right around the corner, and I will be then saying JUST LIKE YOU: "What did I do to deserve this? How it wastes my life in a bed. How much of this can I take? So many years of this. Will there be better tomorrows?"
I guess one reward for you posting your excellent poem besides giving you an opportunity to express your inward anger at migaine is that your poem allows people like me to know that I am not the only one. There are others out there.
Please know that, in a sense, we are fighting stinking , rotten migraine TOGETHER! This thought does not dismiss the migraine pain, but it makes it feel a slightly bit better, I suppose.
Keep fighting. Fingers crossed for better days.
Bob
Hi Bob - you are right, we are all fighting this disease together. We all have much more in common that we seem to realize, even though at times we may seem so very alone in this fight. And I appreciate your comments. I read your poems as well and liked them very much. Wishing you pain free days in the future...
Julie