I just had to take a moment to let off some steam, in an effort to reduce a bit of stress.
My husband, as great as he is in some ways (making me dinner, rubbing my head when I have a migraine), is soooo unsupportive in other ways.
For example, because I have university insurance, I have to pay out of pocket for my prescriptions at my local CVS and then get reimbursed about 2 weeks later. It is either that or get them from the university pharmacy (an overcrowded place that is a 15-minute drive across campus from my office--- which is in a town that is a 1/2 hour away from my house).
I can afford to put the cash up front and, at this point, I have gotten so much in reimbursement, it's no biggie.
BUT- today, I needed to get 300 bucks worth of topamax and I only had 150 in my account until Wed. I asked my husband to float me the 150. Usually no problemo for any other thing in the world. But, when he found out it was for the prescription, he started hounding me about "why don't I get it through the university? why was I being such a pain about this? this is affecting our cash flow (even though he just got paid and I would pay him back on WEDNESDAY). blah blah blah."
This is the sort of thing that my husband can never seem to understand. He can never understand that it takes *all* of my energy just to get myself to work, get work accomplished [through a headache at times], and get home without having a migraine and that adding any one small thing (even just going across campus and waiting on line for the pharmacy) would just make my life that much more stressful (and stress = migraines, so I like to decrease stress).
Does he need to physically have 3 to 4 migraines per week to understand what it is like physically and emotionally to go through this nightmare and still (try) to function at work and home week after week? What does it take for these people to understand?
Hi Tara!
I wish I knew the answer to your question.All I can say is I stand in awe of you to be able to work thruogh the migraines. Sometimes it is all I can do to roll out of bed to get another ice pack.
One thing I do know for sure is that men worry more about money than anything. It is just their nature. Just know that he loves you.I would love to have my hubby rub my head or neck when a mig hits...but I better not hold my breath...lol. He is very understanding. If I don't get the laundry done or even the dishes or if he has to eat a sandwich he never complains. So I guess we have to be thankful for what they do, do and overlook the rest.
Take care,
Anita
Hi Tara. Nice to "meet" you. If you have not already, you should check out out forum, you will probably get more replies there.
Anway, are you sure it is actually the $ that upset him, or was it the straw that broke the camel's back? My hubby is so good to me,too. He would do ANYTHING to help me get rid of my migraines. But even though they are not the ones going through the physical pain of the migraine, they are affected so much. And just like most people, do have a breaking point. My DH has snapped at me over some of the dumbest stuff, as I have to him as well. If you got it worked out, let it go. If the same thing causes a problem again, try explaining your reasoning to him in a calm manner. Just my 2 cents, I hope it helps.
I know how hard this disease can make your life and any little thing that makes it easier and less stressful can be worth so much more to us, than other people. It really sounds like you have a good marriage, so just try to talk it out.
Good luck and I hope to see you on the forum soon.
Sherry
Thank you for your comment, Sherry. I will have to try out the forum. I am a bit new to this stuff...
I do think that it was the straw that broke the camel's back. He later apologized and said that my migraines are stressful for him, but that it is hard on him because he often feels like he can't complain about that. It is hard on the partners of migrainers. I have told him that I support him and that I am open to talking with him about it or getting him in touch with a support group, but he's not the touchy-feely type and would never be into therapy or anything. so for now, we do what we can and I try to appreciate what he does do for me, which is a lot.
Best,
Tara