I've been struggling with migraines for almost 15 years, trying everything under the sun to get them under control. I've tried extremely hard to be a good wife despite them, and I thought I was succeeding. We've been together for 17 years, and I thought we were rock solid.

Recently my migraines and the drug that I was taking started making me very ill. My husband is a musician, and I had to miss a few of his shows- and I never miss his shows, even if I have a migraine (I usually video tape and photograph them.)

I found out last Saturday that he was cultivating an affair with one of the women in his band, and that he "has feelings" for her, and has "cuddled" with her. She makes him feel good, and, despite all of my efforts, I don't. I am not meeting his physical or emotional needs.

During our huge blow-up after all of this was revealed, I started knocking his cds off of a shelf and he grabbed me, threw me to the floor and jumped on top of me, holding my wrists and trying to pin me down, hurting me a lot in the process. I was screaming bloody murder this whole time, and eventually he released me.

I staggered to my feed and, for a moment, I felt as if my entire world had gone black. Migraines had ruined almost every other aspect of my life, and now my last solace, the love of my life, had betrayed and physically assaulted me. I wanted vengeance, but still couldn't bring myself to hurt him to the degree that he had hurt me. There's no point. It wouldn't bring my loving husband back.

Now I am sitting here, thinking about all of the times that chronic migraines made me very near suicidal, but not quite, and it was because my favorite person would always soothe me. He knew me before I was a chronic migraineur, before I was a debilitated shell of myself, and his love was like a beacon for me in my darkest times.

What will I do now? I feel so alone, and I am afraid.