Trapped in my own head again

Trusting no words from my lips

I stare blankly

And  think of what I should have said

Certainly not the stammered stumble

That wouldn’t flow from my mouth

So I distrusted it

And opened it no more

Since all I said was stupid

And reflected poorly my thoughts that day,

I clammed up and cowered.

Lost in the disease- the gift that keeps on coming

On and on again

But this feels different- lost like I’ve never been

I write these words on paper and here they can flow

But a conversation with me would reveal just how far I had to go-

Just to be understood.

And that’s just the first step in communication

Which I can’t do right now

Not trying to impress, just keep the conversation flowing-

To get me through this interview and get some rest time going

I think to call the doctor, see what to do,

But that’s kinda hard when speaking is as far from a reality

Than flying to the moon.
So I guess I wait.

And pray that “the stupids” end soon.