If Migraines Paid a Sliding Scale

Pain level     $ amount

1-3.3            $10     

3.4-6.7         $50      

6.8-10          $100    

Dead            Funeral expenses

If migraines paid a sliding scale each day they came to call

A fifty for a mid size, a "Ben" when really TALL

My life would be so neat from spending sprees in Crete

In Italy and France my wife and I would dance

The history of Europe and Asia would unfold

Before our eyes in person instead of books so old

We'd fly the world first class in spacious window seats

Around the world we'd prance in classic Levi pants

My wife could call in sick; permanently so

She could be a stay home mom and watch the kiddies grow

A maid would do our dishes, sew and wash our house

While wife would cook our fishes and plant the tomatoes

Of course I still would work to pay the normal bills

Provide us with insurance to pay for all the pills

Though sometimes pain would stop me and make me want to grouse

I'd feel much better when Migraine paid through its nose

Our children would be schooled by those of high degree

We'd pay with migraine money (those services aren't free)

With Yee haws and hoorays we'd run until we dropped

As long as I had migraines the fun just wouldn't stop

But then these doggone migraines would still come follow me

Attack me south of France or while I'm sipping tea

The fun our family had just couldn't be topped

But for me-just like the present-these migraines wouldn't stop