I know that everybody thinks the things I'm dealing with are all in my head, well I've had a cat scan done and that proves it, there is nothing in there. And I'm starting to think no brain either. I can't seem to get all these people to understand that I dont live the way I live because I want to its cuz I have to. I live in a dark room, I watch t.v. in the dark, I have dark curtains on my window cuz my eyes hurt most of the time, when I can see that is. I don't go out much cuz if its windy, I have a migraine. If the sun's out it hurts my eyes which makes my head pound. The volume on the t.v. is usually very low unless theres a Red Wings game on. If it is gonna rain I know 3 days before hand. My head will pound like some one is beating a huge base drum. They don't understand I always have a headache and sometimes I'm lucky enough not to go full blown. I dont move around alot because if I do it can force me to go full blown.
I get told to go out more, don't stay in your room chain smoking and breathing all the cat pee and poo, like I don't know how to clean a litter box or open a window, door, or the widow in the bathroom. They think all I do is just sit here with my finger up my butt feeling sorry for myself. Yes, my life sucks and I'm tired of living and living with the 30+ years of pain I've been in but I cant work cuz that makes my life more miserable so because I can't work I cant get medical attention and now I cant get anyone to understand that I'm stuck with no help and no where to go? That I'm not sitting here with my thumb up my butt I'm just usually in so much pain with no pain meds I just cant do I don't want the pain to get so bad that I take what I can to make me go away.