Please let me just start off with giving myself props for making it through the past couple months without having a breakdown.  It has been the most trying time of my life---yet I'm still hanging on!! Secondly, props to everyone else going through similiar situations---migraines take a toll on every aspect of your life and my thoughts are with each and everyone on you.

Well, I haven't seen my past treating neurologist in over a month, the last appt. I  decided it was time for a new doctor.  The two migraine specialists I was recommended to both have lengthy waiting lists.  Besides the fact that I saw one of the specalist's on one of my ER trips, and she is not a doctor I could work with. She told me "I had a problem with migraines and I needed to see a neurologist"---well no kidding lady, what do you think landed me in the ER in the first place?? (excuse the sarcasm!)

I have been off my topamax for about 10days and I feel better then what I did before.  Has anyone ever heard of topamax increasing your headache frequency/intensity??

I have felt better overall the past few days.  Very minimal head pain/nausea and I was willing to go out and do things!!! normal human being fun activities!! I haven't used any of my pain meds since the beginning on March...... :-) maybe some of my headaches were rebound caused, but a lot of my headaches had migraine symptoms (aura, nausea, ringing in ears, difficulty to talk/concentrate, movement made everything worse, etc,.) I know the rules and limits to all of my different types of meds, and I was under the impression that I wasn't overstepping the limits (ie--causing rebound headaches) but maybe I was using them too often.  My headaches have gotten better the past two weeks--not gone, but better. 

I was so disappointed after my last appointment with my present neurologist that I basically gave up.  It was quite the disaster.  It started off poorly because I had a migraine kicking my behind the whole time through the appointment so I had a hard time focusing on everything we were "trying" to go over and forgot to ask a lot of key questions I had wanted to discuss.  My doctor listened to some of what I had to say, but about 5 mins into the appointment, when I pulled out my headache journal to go over, he simply just set it to the side and started lecturing me on rebound headaches.  I tried to ask him if he thought they were rebound headaches then what is with all the other symptoms?? nausea (with or without vomiting), sensitivity to light/sound/smell, my eyes feeling like theyre going to explode, etc.---and he just talked right over me.

After the disasterous appointment I kind of fell into a funk of where I just didn't care anymore.  I quit keeping my headache journal, refused to take any of my pain meds, and took on the attitude of "I'm always going to have a headache so why fight it? Just live with it".  Which is the completely wrong attitude to have--let alone the complete opposite of my sunny personality.  But that last doctor's appointment was quite the let-down.  Especially when I don't see another venue of help available to me---whether its time/work/money/insurance, its just a series of hurdles!!!!