sigh... kinda down today. I'm so tired. I have so much to do but I hurt too much and am too tired to do them.
Hubby is away visiting his folks and seeing the family doc since none of the family docs up here will take his pain seriously.
I stay up way too late... past midnight. Yet I need to get up at six. I try to do aqua aerobics 3xs a week. Plus I've been doing a Biogenesys on my back to get rid of the pain. I can't clean house if every time I bend over my back starts to ache and burn. I hate this. I don't like being slowed down.
I've applied for SSDI but in the meantime I have to keep looking for jobs so I can get unemployment. Hubby can't work because his hypertension has destroyed his brain to the point he has a severe problem with memory plus he has fibromyalgia. But of course, the judge at his hearing didn't believe him. He called him a liar basically in the judgement. Threw out the testimony of all the witnesses and based his judgement on a few doctor's reports. And doctors don't make great reports. They are incomplete, short, and often have wrong information in them. So we appeal the judgement.
But meanwhile, after paying insurance, we have only $300 to live on and our dwindling savings.
I'm so tired of all this. I just want to go back to bed and not wake up till everything is all right.
I can't think or type right. Head feels so heavy. If I didn't have unemployment, how else could I have an income????? What are my options? My hubby is terrified about our money going down. He has a lot of anxiety attacks and makes no sense. I don't want to be near him when he gets like that. I can't help him and he gets mad at me because I can't be like him.
How do people make it if they didn't have unemployment coming in while waiting for SSDI and don't have a significant other bringing income in????
I can't imagine there are any options!
I'm too tired to think. My leg hurts still even after the cortisone shot. I'm hoping it works soon. It's been only 4 days. Soon I should know if it works.
I've gained so much weight since I left TNG. It's been over 3 months now. I didn't think I was eating that much: all vegetarian/vegan. But I gained 40lbs!!! What is going on??? My blood tests showed normal thyroid so it can't be that. I'm at the heaviest I've ever been. It's not right. I'm doing aqua aerobics 3xs a week still. What is going on?
I can't live like this. It's too much. I thought I was doing so good.
I wish I knew what was happening.
First of all I love your charecter in the photo spot.
I'm really sorry for all you're going thru.I have a sister that worked in the health field for over 30yrs.Her last position was as a local county hospice director.She lost her job.Her partner scammed her out of a ton of money charging on credit that she wasn't aware of.
After dealing with the death of our mother almost 6 yrs ago she starting getting ill.That was right after she lost her job.She had unemployment.She applied for disability after finally being diagnosed with ms.She's been turned down twice for disablity and now has a lawyer.She will try again this month.
In between all this,she lost most vision in her left eye,now walks with a cane,and has a lesion at the base of her skull they can't do anything about.It causes her brain to swell and the pain is unbearable at times.She applied for medicade after her insurance ran out and she cashed in her retirement to pay people back that helped her & house pymts for a yr.Which will be up in Sept.
Medicade sent a form letter saying she wasn't sick enough.You don't even have to be sick to get it.
So now if she gets turned down this time,she's out of options.
I don't understand how it is that people work hard all thier life,pay into a system and then get nothing from it.
I don't have insurance.I go to the Good Samaritan Clinic.But they don't help with meds.I did find a card online for free at
pscard.com.You can print it out and it's active right away.Thier site shows you pharmacies that accept it and how much it is with the card.I've saved $15 to $40 dollars with it.You can even call and get a plastic card with your name on it.
Stress can do many things to you.I know,my husband is self employed.I'm not.I've been basically homebound because my head pain is so bad most of the time.
I might suggest that you get your thyroid checked.I thought I was having a breakdown and it ended up being my thyroid,which can either put weight on you or do the opposite.I think every woman over 30 should have it checked a few times a year.I try to get my bloodwork done every 3 months.I have hashimoto's and it's common.I didn't know how much control the thyroid has.
At our age,it could be hormonal.It could be meds you're on.I've put on 15-20 pds this past 3 months,I don't know why.
I wish you luck on your husband's appeal.Have you gotten any other opinions from dr's.
I don't even know why judges decide.What do they know as far as making such an important life altering decisions?They are not dr's.I think a team or at least a couple of dr's should be on a panel and decide.
Good luck on your disability.We shouldn't have to jump thru the hoops they put us thru.
Keep your chin up.If you ever want to email me,feel free.I may not have the answers,but I can relate and understand.
You seem to have a wonderful family.I'm happy for you and your new found family.
Best to all of you,
Marge
Hiya Marge!
I'm doing better today! Usually I'm pretty upbeat and optimistic. Just yesterday I was hurting so bad. And so frustrated too at what my husband has been going through.
The judge did have a couple of doctors look at my husband's doctor's reports. But again, that should not have been the only information to look over. He threw out the letters from people who spoke how much my husband had changed. He commented how we all said the same thing and the letters basically dated the same month. Well, yes they were, that's when we were asked to write them!!! Geez! Stupid judge. And yes they would say the same thing because we see the same thing! The judge just didn't want my husband to have it. Period. At the hearing, he would shout down the advocate for my husband when he tried to cross examine the witnesses!! He wouldn't let him talk! The judge is really ready for the nut house!!
Hopefully, the appeal counsel will get to hear the audio tape of the hearing and how it was conducted so my husband will have another chance with a different judge.
Financially, we are doing okay if we don't go nuts. We canceled satellite and are having just local channels. We still have broadband internet because we are geeks and also because we have VOIP which makes it worth it. My husband still likes to play with networking and I still love to play with programming and building computers.
I'm so sorry about your sister. It's so unfair how the government determines who deserves SSDI and who doesn't. There are so many folks working in the government with egos needing boosting that they find a need to take it out on the people who really need it. Compassion doesn't exist there in so many divisions. I've seen it lacking for my kids too in H&W.
My hubby will be coming home tomorrow and that will be a good thing. I've accomplished a lot in some things needing to be done.
I may try getting a few more things done. I just wish my back and knees wouldn't protest when I try to get things done. Our house is a disaster area and it does get to me because I like everything in its place. My hubby is a slob (he has always been that way though) and once I have everything in its place, it'll be easier to take care of him.
I hope you get to feeling better kiddo!!! Sending positive energies your way!!
GG