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@%$! You Migraines. I woke up this morning and cried. You were back again and only after one day of rest after 6 attacks. Hadn’t you already hurt me enough this week? A fist full of drugs in my stomach, I drove to work and worried about how I could handle a tough day at the office with aphasia and all the communications I had to deal with.
@%$! You Migraines. 15 migraines a month = ½ my life in pain thus far and lately you’ve been getting worse. Well, @%$! You Migraines. I’M STRONGER THAN YOU. You didn’t stop me from gainful employment to better my life for me and my kids, I just took longer to get there. You didn’t stop me from getting an education, I just took correspondence. You didn’t stop me from being an artist and teaching sculpting, I just taught less classes. You didn’t stop me from my passion of plants, I just have a smaller garden. You didn’t stop me from hiking, I just took shorter walks.
@%$! You Migraines. I’m stronger than you, I’m better than you and I’m smarter than you. You will not stop me from living the life that I was meant to have.
@%$! You Migraines. I’m not crying anymore.
Angela
I can totally relate to your message-the crying, the hurt, the fist full of drugs. As well as dealing with the @%$! Migraines, now the @%$! insurance company continues their overwhelming paperwork barrage to compound my agony. Their latest message is that "even though the patient (me) has reported subjective concerns of headaches (concerns...are they @%$! kidding me), examinations have not demonstrated objective abnormalities that would support limitations in performance of sedentary work."
If only they could spend a day inside my head! It's not being sedentary that affects the pain in my head!! It's dealing with the intensity of high profile customers and their unrealistic expectations, followed by defending my actions and decisions to my employer. It's keeping up appearances while at work, only to come home and unleash pent up emotions, usually anger, onto my husband. It's being forced to participate in design and construction meetings and managing the extreme levels of decision making for an $84,000,000+ construction project! It's being subjected to the noise and lights, the hustle and bustle, the constant biding for faster, more efficient work habits, that make up a professional construction management office. It's having the intense pressure to meet unrealistic deadlines and sacrificing personal time in order to accomplish it!
I wish that I was stronger than the migraines but I'm not. I'll keep your final note as a reminder to help me get me through the day and I'll make that a prayer when I ask for healing. I too want to live the life that I was meant to have.
Thank you.
Hi Pam
So nice to meet you and thanks for the reply. Doesn't it feel better to get mad. Some days I don't feel stronger, but when I get mad it feels better than being depressed. You are living proof that you are stronger than your migraine. Look at all the responsibility that you handle in the outside world in the day, regardless of what goes on in your internal struggle. It's a tough haul, but we are all praying for a cure. One day....One day....hang in there.