Stupid Depression

By Angst Wednesday, September 24, 2008

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Isn't it ironic that most migraine/headache preventives also increase the risk of depression?

I have a history of severe depression, of chronic daily headache, and of migraines; I've tried several preventives already with no success. I saw a headache specialist today, and, like the last one, said there really wasn't much more we could try because of the depression. Beta-blockers, trycyclics, calcium channel blockers... increase depressive symptoms; anti-seizure meds I'm already taking; others create interactions with my current medication; I don't respond much to triptans, so DHE probably wouldn't help.

Conclusion - try relaxation theray and come back in six months.

Thing is, the main factor for my depressions is the headaches. I'm convinced that if I was able to have even partial relief and control over the pain, at least 50% of my problems would be solved. After all these years, it is not becoming easier to cope with this, but harder. I've always tried to live as normal a life as possible and have succeeded rather well at being functional. Now, a headache at a level that is relatively low (for me) will limit me much more.

When I'm in pain, I can't go about my things normally, activities of daily living are neglected.
When I'm in pain, I don't don't have the energy to go out, I isolate myself.
When I'm in pain, things accumulate, it gets so much more discouraging, there's too much to take on even on a good day.
When I'm in pain, when I'm overwhelmed, when I'm isolated, do I not have reason to be depressed?

I feel like I'm in a vicious cycle, spiraling downwards, and there's no way out. I don't have the strength to advocate for myself; to go doctor & referal hunting; to be told again and again that there's not much to be done; to wait six months before anything is done. I thank God for disability. It's my only means of survival right now and I think that's a really sad thing. I mean, I'm young, I'm pretty, I'm smart; I have my whole life to 'look foward to'; I have so much potential. Instead, all these things have been put on ice, I basically threw away the scholarships I had - that somebody else could have put to good use. I've been 'disabled' since I was 19 and there's no sign that this will change anytime soon, it's actually quite the opposite.

Why is it that treatments for what triggered my depression, also causes depression? I don't get it...

Sorry for all this venting!

This DIS-Ease of the Soul...

Comments (5) | Add comment

Kendall

9/24/08 11:33pm

Sorry to hear how you're feeling, Burgz. I can't answer your WHY question, but I can tell you what helps me. I don't have your level of difficulty with depression, but I definitely notice that several days of migraine = depression for me. What helps me is to pay attention to the days when I'm NOT depressed. Usually--and this may just be my good luck--when I'm not having a spate of headaches, I'm not depressed. In fact between headaches, I feel very balanced, peaceful, and at ease, sometimes positively joyful. I have begun noting GOOD DAYS in my journal, so that I don't forget how often they are. Sometimes keeping a diary of bad days or headaches makes it seem that we focus only on the bad. So I balance that out by focusing on the good and believing that if it comes once, it can come again, and it's worth waiting for and believing in. I journal extensively when I'm feeling good, so I can look back and re-read that if bad days come again. I find I really have more days of joy than days of depression. I hope the same is possible for you, and even if it isn't, that if you journal on good days, you will begin to believe in the possibility of good days coming again and being worth living for and waiting for. That's not being a pollyanna or wearing rose-colored glasses; it's just a matter of facing the truth: depression isn't all there is, and good days are worth living for.

Kristie

9/25/08 3:01am

After I was rearended in a car accident, I started to suffer from severe migraines. I had them for 18 days a month for 4 years and they were killing me. I worked on a cruise ship and I had to stop until I could get the migraines under control. With the help of the migraine neurologist, I tried several prventatives and the only one that helped was topomax but after 2 years I started forgetting things and then saw that this was a bad side effect. I tried so many "triptans" to relieve my pain that I started to rebound. I had a seamstress who had been suffereing with migraines for 50 years and finally her doctor(who happened to be a partner of mine) gave her doxepin and she said they vanished. I begged my doctor to try it after the 4 years of trying everything that he wanted. He then prescribed doxepin to me and within 5 weeks I was migraine free and have been for 4 years. The only problem was that in those 5 weeks I gained 30lbs. I was always under 110 and I blew to 140. I wasn't warned and I didn't pay attention to my weight because I had always been a person in a family who could eat anything I wanted. I never weighed myself and although I knew I was hungrier and eating more, I didn't know of the severe weight gain until it was too late.

The doxepin saved my life because my migraines were hell and I couldn't function, however, the weight was a lot and I've since taken off 20-25 lbs. in a 3 month diet program. I strive everyday to get another 10 off. If you are able to take this drug, just watch carefully how much you are eating and that this pill can make you gain weight without eating too much. I often ask myself if the weight gain was a good trade-off for the migraine loss and it's a definite yes because I can now function. I just don't enjoy the extra weight.

I don't know why doctors don't mention this medication for migraines, but it helped my friend who suffered for 50 years and although I only suffered for 4 years, I was only 32 years old and had so much more living to do. It's worth asking your doctor about!!!

Lisa

2/13/09 2:14pm

I saw a new neurologist December 1, 2008. He changed everything I was on for my chronic migraines and put me on Doxepin. He said it was an older drug for it but I had never heard of it. He did tell me there was a risk of weight gain so maybe the word is getting out there. My migraines are improving...not gone but I am happy with the improvement!

Anonymous

3/ 8/09 1:52am

Hello Lisa,

I don't usually go onto different sites and post information but I am very glad that I did since you seem to have benefitted from it. I hope that you continue to get relief from the Doxepin. It was a miracle for both my seamstress and myself. I've since lost the weight which was a big downfall with this medication, but I also haven't had a migraine. I have heard that the older drugs are sometimes better than newer ones but doctors seems to push the newer ones. It sometimes takes spreading the word to others about medications that have worked even if they are older.

I wish you continued success and relief!

All My Best,

Kristie

ann

11/ 1/09 12:37pm

I looked up headache specialists in my state with the best educational backgrounds and went to them. The first one was a bust. However, the second one was located in a hospital and worked with a staff that had amazing credentials (Johns Hopkins). Look up your doctors background information before you go. This doctor set me up in the hospital for three days administring all sorts of drugs thry an IV to stop the cycle of my migraines. DHE, Depacon, etc. I left without a migraine when i was getting them daily.

Stupid Depression

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