My Christian Friends, don't understand???

Oh dear. I'm pretty sure faith doesn't have much to do with Migraine disease. We do have some information that may help you with this problem, a letter for those who don't get it. This article may come in handy: Migraine and Headache Education for Those Who "Don't Get It." 

I hope it helps.

Faith, or spirituality can help you get through the bad times.  Yes, God, as one knows Him is always there for us.  Perhaps he expects us to help ourselves now and again?  This reminds me of a story my pastor told once....

A flood was coming and everyone was evacuating for their safety.  Jim's neighbors asked him to leave with them.  He answered, No.  I'll be fine.  God will care for me.

The water rose over his head on the first floor and Jim moved to the second floor.  A man from the Village stopped by his window with a boat.  Jim, come with me.  You aren't safe. No said Jim it is alright God will care for me.

The water continued to rise and Jim was forced to the attic.  He chopped a hole into his roof and the rains came pouring in.  The coast guard had a boat near by and tried to rescue him.  No! said Jim, God will care for me.

Jim was forced onto the roof of his home, the water was rising and lightening and thunder told the story of a storm that was not abating.  In fear Jim cried out to Heaven.  God?  My God why have you forsaken me?  And the answer came to him through the signs of the wind.....

Jim! I sent your neighbor to your aid and you rejected him.  I sent the Village to your home and you rejected them.  Then I sent the Coast Guard to rescue you and you rejected them.  Did you have so little faith in me as to not believe I would send you help?  Yet now, in the worst moments you call out to me and chastise me.  I give Men the ability to help themselves, all of these good things come from me.  You are like Thomas.  Refusing to believe until you see my wounds.

Jim though about what God had told him and realized it was all true, he had been a doubting Thomas and he had rejected God's attempts to help.  He was downcast and dejected.  He prayed to God telling him he was ready to accept his fate, for had he not rejected all of God's efforts to help?  He was a foolish, stubborn, prideful man and if he survived the flood he would better pay attention to all the possibilities that God has offered us.  If he did not survive he accepted his fate. 

The dark grey clouds lightened and the rain stopped falling.  The sun came out in all it's glory.  God still smiled upon Jim and took pity on him.  Slowly the waters receded and one day the Village was again able to come out to Jim to take him to safew ground.  They found a changed man who thanked them for their service and who thanked God for his rescue.

I wish you all the best in your struggle against this awful disease.  I suggest to you that your Christian friends may need reinforcement that the Lord works in mysterious ways, and sometimes that might be an abortive or a doctor.  May your true friends give you support.  May your faith bring you comfort and peace.

I have clung to 2 Cor:12 7-10 when I need to respond to those comments.  Paul asked God three times to remove the thorn in his flesh.  And God said HIS Grace was sufficient.  And we don't know if God ever removed Paul's thorn but we do know that when we are weak HE is strong.  I have read a few books lately that have helped.  Why, Trusting God When You Don't Understand by Anne Graham Lotz is one I go back to again and again.  And search for Rest Ministries online.  It's a Christian website that deals with chronic pain.  I receive their daily emails and have found very wise Christian suffering greatly walking with our trusting God. 

Blessings,

lisa

God helps us with our health when we ask for a blessing and receive it. my migraines doesn't go away and my meds doesn't always work so i know a blessing will.  to have people that understand about your migraines and the pain they cause you and others who have them they have patience. they know you are in pain and hurting and that you do have faith in God and what he gives to us. people who say you don't have enough faith might not have enough faith themselves maybe. only God can make judgements on us. my opinion. 

Dear Denise:

I am about as born again as you can be and still remain on this earth. I too suffer not only from migraine with aura, but chronic daily headaches do to severe arthritis in my neck. And yes I to have heard from the "pray for a healing" crowd. It is difficult for me to be polite with these people. Whether or not you are a Christian, humanity is going to suffer physical and psychological maladies in these bodies--sure the Lord heals certain people-- but because I have not or you have not received a divine healing are we to believe that God loves us less then them ? Or that it must be that our faith is weak therefore God is not going to heal us until we prove to Him that we are worthy of a healing? That is nonsense! And I strongly suggest those who point their fingers at people who suffer with an illness to stop judging us! Are you God? No? Then stop judging us. Why don't you comfort us instead-- ( on a few occasions I have seriously considered suicide to escape the pain) if you have never had a migraine headache let alone twice weekly migraine headaches you have no idea how we suffer. Perhaps the Lord will give those who lack understanding a few of them so they can walk a mile in mine and Denises shoes. (Please pardon my bitterness.) In my case the lord has told me that he was going to use my afflictions to minister to people while I am being treated for my migraines and arthritis.Yes, God speaks to me imagine that ! The Lord also told me He would make certain I would be able to receive the pain medications I will need to live a relatively normal life. Whats the saying ? Oh, yes . Pick up your cross daily and follow me.

Ah, yes, the "Sufficient Faith" comment has been dumped on me, to which I reply, once, my deep spiritual relationship with God helps me to deal with this neurological condition. 

I pray for strength, patience, and that God will guide the decisions of my doctors.

And yes, the "Better Manage Your Stress" comment tickles me, too.  I do manage my stress as much as humanly possible without living in a complete vacuum.

Some folks who have never or rarely experienced any kind of physical pain, never had a migraine, or had a chronic condition will have a harder time being compassionate until they are educated.

That sucks, but it's not something I haven't heard myself. Good for you for standing up for yourself.

This is going to sound strange, but I've started telling people of that ilk that my migraines are a blessing. Do I like the fact that once a week I have terrible pain that confines me to bed for at least 24 and usually 48 hours and that nothing's working to fix yet? No, but I believe there is some greater good to be garnered from them, even it's just that they make me more sensitive to other people who are suffering.

If there's a next time, try telling them that the difference between affliction being curse and a blessing is attitude. Let them chew on that for a while. I hope you find migraine relief soon.

My thanks to the Christians who stood up for migraineurs against the "you haven't prayed hard enough" trope. That particular line is, in my opinion, nothing more than self-righteous spiritual abuse of someone who is suffering. It's as harmful to a migraineur as "If you'd just control your stress more..." or the old Freudian, "What's the emotional payoff you get for continuing to let migraines get you?"

The fact that so many Christians posted here in support of the original poster has to be making a whole bunch of angels somewhere do the electric boogaloo in sheer, selfless joy.

Migraine disease is a neurological whammy, not a judgment from God, nor a personal failure, nor a sign of psychological weakness. Heck, anybody who gets 'em knows what a miracle it is just to keep chugging through the day without falling apart or beating the next person who says something that insulting and harmful. My hat's off to all of you survivors of every possible spiritual persuasion! Keep fighting the good fight.

Denise,

While your friends may have meant well, it's obvious they didn't know what to say. I am assuming that they have never had to deal with a chronic debilitating condition such as a migraine. If they had experienced migraines and claimed to be a Christian, their response would have been compassionate.

There are people in this world that have to live with a chronic condition that limits them, both Christians and non-Christians. The Bible does say, " it rains on the just and the unjust". Why are some people healed and others are not? Why do some face tragedy and others not? No one knows but God. It's just my opinion, but when others belittle you by making the statements you referred to, it just shows their ignorance or hardness of heart.

I think what's important when you suffer with migraines, (as an example), you have to accept that for whatever reason, at this place and this time in your life it's something you have to deal with. It's not fun. It doesn't feel fair. It's so easy to point at others who are headache free, wonder why they don't have migraines, then point back at yourself and feel like you're the victim.

But God can take the suffering and use it to build character; that is, if you're willing to trust Him with your condition. Two years ago I had a freakish accident. I fell while sitting down in a low chair at an airport. I am a nurse and was working in a recovery room at the time. I was diagnosed with a concussion; to make a very long story short, I am disabled. I cannot work. Amongst other things, since the accident I have complex migraines, usually without headaches. But the symptoms are bizarre and sound totally psychological. I'm a Christian, have been for many years. I'm still learning to accept that this has happened to me. But since the accident I've been able to totally trust the Lord, and I verbalize this in my prayers. And Ive grown spiritually; there's a depth of understanding and compassion I now have that I've never known before.

Our circumstances are different, but the same in that no one really understands what we are going through. The kind ones will try to understand. But when someone says to you, "you don't have enough faith" or "you just need to pray and your migraines won't come back" (1) doesn't have a medical background, and (2) is showing that they don't understand the nature of God.

Some verses that have helped me when I have felt so alone in my situation are in

II Corinthians 1: 3-5 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from Christ. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."

Marcia

 I think

I think you have to experience

Judge not for those that have not lived in your pain cannot even relate to it.

---they can't tell you that because they have NO hurt like a migraine hurts!!

If you are over 17--you are an adult..live free, Love God, and do whats best for YOU..

If they say that again--just tell them they must not have confidence in faith or they would be lifting you in prayer. 

That should make them be quiet.....

I'm sorry you've experienced insensitive Christians. We're not all like that. Honestly, no one can say for certain why God allows suffering. Remember, it rains on good and evil people....

I suffered for 10 years with migraines--daily. I lost much of my vision along the way due to decreased blood flow to my eyes. The nerves that control my pupils shriveled up and then one pupil was stuck open, and one stuck as tiny as it can get. This only made the migraines worse, and I've had to wear large, dark sunglasses outdoors at all times.

One day a friend from far away wrote me and requested that I go to a particular church that I had never heard of.  She had never heard of it either, but wrote that God had told her to tell me to go there! I responded that I could not go anywhere in the mornings due to my disability.

One Sunday morning, months later, I woke up without a migraine, so I decided to find this church (easy in the Yellow Pages). I went there for the 11:00 service. During a silent prayer time, my hands began shaking and my face was tingling. In a few moments it all stopped.  This is hard to explain, but I left that church and didn't even have to put on my sunglasses!

I have never had a migraine since. And no, I was not praying for myself, but for my children.  That could be the key: pray for others, and see what the Lord does for you!

You are exactly right to tell them off, evidently they have never had a migraine. People who have never had a migraine cannot comprehend how dibilitating they are. I have them as well. I have been on high blood pressure medicine for about 5 months now, I don't have them quite as often but I still do have them.  There is nothing worse and I sympathize with you. Take care and I hope that they get better for you.

I am so sorry that your "Christian" friends are so incapable of having fellow-feeling for what you're going thru. They remind me of the three so-called friends that came to "comfort" Job when he was experiencing his severe trials. Not only did they NOT comfort him with their words, they even went so far as to accuse him of having committed secret sins for which God was punishing him. Yet, we know today that God doesn't cause suffering (James 1:13). However, God DOES allow SATAN to test our faith.

The reason for this is that Satan raised an issue before God during an assembly in Heaven, which was witnessed by all the angels in heaven. (Job 1:6-11). Because the issue was raised in front of all those witnesses, God had to address it in a manner that would prove beyond any doubt that Satan was wrong. Satan said that the only reason Job was faithful to God was because God blessed him with a large, faithful family, a devoted wife, good health, and financial and material comfort, and basically sheltered Job and his family from any harm. He then challenged God to turn His back on Job or to afflict him, stating that Job would denounce his faith if he no longer had all the blessings to which he'd become accustomed.

In order to vindicate His right as our Universal Sovereign, God gave Satan permission to test Job's faith, but He forbade Satan from harming Job himself. However, after Job continued to remain faithful, Satan again entered before God during a heavenly assembly (Job 2:1-5), this time challenging God to afflict Job physically. Again, God refused to do anything to Job, but gave Satan permission to do so, forbidding Satan only from causing Job to die.

The illness with which Job was stricken was intense enough that his own wife even urged him to curse God and die so he could stop suffering. However, even then Job remained faithful. He did, however, become extremely depressed and even asked God, at one point, to let him die! (Job 14:13) Of course, in the end, God sent a true friend to comfort Job and build him up and to straighten out some of Job's erroneous thinking, and then He moved Job's wife to return to him and she had 10 more chidlren (all 10 of their previous children had been killed in a windstorm caused by Satan). God also multiplied all of Job's former belongings, and Job eventually died old and satisfied.--Job 42:17.

Dense, I'm so sorry that you as many of us have had to go thru many of our friends "not getting it!"  I'm a pastor's wife and I have been hearing those statements for several years.  I just smile most of the time but at times it hurts.   It is a painful thing to have to deal with on top of your head pain.  Just remember God is in control and He loves you no matter pain we have.  We will have pain and sickness in this world.  Thank goodness we do have good doctors to aid us.

None of my friends and family have a clue what I go through with my migraines. I avoid talking about it becauseI always get ridiculous advice. Non-sufferers just do not get it - so it is probaby best to let it go because they know not what they say.

I think that God does allow some to suffer pain and illness, but for a reason. Maybe it is so that when we feel good, we really appreciate it and give thanks. Maybe it is a trial that will make us a better person, so that we are refined in a way to prepare us for heaven. I am not sure. God only knows. I do know that what happens through prayer is not our will, but God's will. So we can pray all we want, and ask all we want, and have great faith, but still not be healed unless it is God's will. Take care and keep thinking positively. Enjoy each day and give thanks to God in all.