it's really a hard time - everyone

Hello everyone from Migraineville AZ,

I have never gone into a tailspin of desperation - or asked for your hugs and support but I am not doing well and I usually keep that to myself - but I need your support.  I am at a real low point.  I am two weeks out of the hospital another stay of a couple days where they could manage the severity of the pain and the barfing, the aphasia, the aura, the sight deficit, the neuropathic pain the status mig's.  I am so tired of fighting the pain everyone, I am losing my sense of optimism - the only time I felt relatively okay was immediately after the IV push of dilaudid in the hospital every four hours.  My preventatives con't to fail.  And by the way - I live in the land of the Mayo clinic.  Do you know that just to be seen there they charge a 550 dollar fee and then everything is added on top of that?  My ins will not cover it . What happened to the Mayo mission to treat all? Not just the rich? 

I'm going to stop there.  I hate feeling weak and unable to fight.  But it's a really, really hard time.  After going through the Valium coma this summer I thought I would get a major break - but just like my ketamine treatments it didn't last.  And it was depressing frankly to end up in the hosp again two weeks ago - admitted through the ER.  I am so concerned my caregiver Steve will just wear out - he has been wonderful, my rock, always there for me - and yes people I have mental health help if I need it but what I really need is some treatment success, not failure after failure.

Status is an ugly and dark place to be.  Thank you all for any support you offer.

Take care -

Ian