Co-Workers and Migraine

By lucyinthesky Wednesday, October 17, 2007

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I'm not asking for faux pity or forced sympathy from my co-workers when I express that I am currently suffering from a migraine. I'm simply asking for understanding.

I can't help the fact that I have no vacation/sick days left from past migraines, which is why I'm forced to be here today. I can't help the fact that I throw up on the hour every hour and go back to my desk like nothing happened. I can't help staring at my computer, unable to do the simplest task, because it hurts to even have my eyes open. I can't help the numbness taking over my limbs and my eyesight slowly blurring, so I'd rather not go to the next "optional" meeting. They probably think I'm fine since I'm at work. I'm NOT FINE!

I really don't want to talk about my entire migraine history with these people. I just want them to know that I'm not as lazy, immobile, anti-social, and un-ambitious as I appear. The mere fact that I cannot do the work like the rest of them during these dark times makes my migraine worse!

But alas, it is no use explaining to them about my suffering. No one knows how it feels unless they've been through it. I guess I should stop typing this before any of them form even lower opinions of their silent, frowning, wimpy, and off-task co-worker.

PFO Closure

Comments (15) | Add comment

Nancy Harris Bonk, Health Guide

10/17/07 4:13pm

Hello, and welcome to MyMigraineConnection.com!

Migraine is a genetic neurological disease that many people who've never experienced an attack don't seem to "get." Sometimes educating people helps them understand what we go through. We do have some education you can share with your co-workers if you'd like.

There are a few things you can do at work to help make your life a bit easier. Attaching a glare screen on or hood over your monitor can be very helpful. Lighting seems to be a Migraine trigger for many people. Would you be able to speak with your boss about changing some bulbs?

If you are having more than 3-4 Migraine attacks a month it may be time to think about a Migraine preventive. There are over 100 medications that can be used to treat Migraine.

Thank you for creating a SharePost. SharePosts are a form of blogging, and there are many things you can do with them. You can share an experience, suggest something that's helped you, use SharePosts as a Migraine and headache journal, and many other things.

We also have a discussion forum that you may want to check out. Especially if you have questions or are looking for information, you may find the interaction on the forum to be quite helpful. We have members who go through similar situations at work who would be happy to share their experiences with you on the forum. To get to the forum, just look for the orange box marked "Manage" and click on the Migraine Forums link. Because our forums are maintained by a third party, you'll need to register for the forum. You can use the same information you used to create your community log-in if you like. If you want to go directly to the forum, you can click HERE.

Along with your personal "My Home" page and the discussion forum, you'll find links to a great deal of helpful information on the main page of our site, http://www.MyMigraineConnection.com.

If you have any questions, please feel free to post them to the forum or send me a message through my profile.

Welcome again,

Nancy Bonk
MyMigraineConnection.com Expert

PS: If you receive this message from more than one of us, please excuse the overlap. Thanks!

Jeffrey Hall

10/17/07 11:16pm

I know how you fell. And to make it worse, I'm a man who was working in heavy duty commercial/industrial construction as a steamfitter.

I constantly got written up for excessive abscences and accused of being a drug addict or an alcoholic. I constantly had to listen to comments such as "His MANgina hurts" or other B.S. when I tried to tough out the day through a headache, especially when it was over 100 degrees and I was wering protective clothing that made it even hotter.

I tried to go to the Human Resources department at two jobs I had to request reasonable accomodations, and they just made up another excuse to terminate me. I did not have enough money to hire a lawyer to sue for retaliatory discharge, and the state Attorney General treated me like I was trying to get something for nothing.

In the Summer of 2003, I was taking vasoconstrictors while welding in a ditch with protective leathers on when it was over 100 degrees and I had a mild heart attack. When I returned to my trade later I had been slandered with rumors that I had a heart attack because I was using meth or cocaine.

I am not currently working, but I am back in school seeking a degree in Labor Leadership and Construction Management. I look forward to the day I can return to a construction site in a managerial position and I have fantasies involving several "Remember Me?" scenarios. It seems a little petty but it gets me through hard times.

I would try to talk to your Human Resources Department informally at first regarding the Americans with Disabilities Act and feel them out. I hope you have better luck than I did.

Teri Robert, Health Guide

10/18/07 1:56am

Lucy,

I'm so sorry you're having these problems at work. I just put up some content to help with this kind of thing. Please take a look at Migraine and Headache Education for Those Who "Don't Get It"

Stick around and let us know if we can help.

Teri

mcmurraychick

10/18/07 11:48am

teri thank your for posting that..... i sent it to my boss and had her print it out so it can be showed to everyone. like lucy i have to show up for work migraine or not. i went to the Dr yesterday, and they wanted to completely kill my pain, but i had to go to work, so all i could take was torodol. this after having the ER REFUSE to se me the night before! and calling my Dr at home, in tears.

Lucy i know how you feel.... i really do.. i have co workers who take daily baths in perfume, knowing it gives me migraines. one even told me it wasnt her ****in problem. one of my bosses is wonderful, he has migraines. as soon as my pain starts he makes me go take my meds, the other one told me in no uncertain terms that if i miss another day of work due to a migraine i will not have a job. since i have only been there 4 months, there is nothing i can do. she has no problem with me showing up and then after she verifies that i DO have a headache, sending me home. not understanding that i drive 45 minute one way. they even all but called me a liar about going to the Dr yesterday. but the nurse that gave me the shot came in yesterday to check on me and heard how my boss talked to me, and she tried to explain to her what i go through.... not that i think she really cares.

lucyinthesky

10/18/07 11:56am

Wow! I've only been at my job for 4 months as well. Thanks to everyone who has posted and is going through the same thing. Thanks, Teri, for the feedback as well.

McMurraychick, I often feel like I must show up at work before I go home to show that I really do have a migraine as well. My boss really wouldn't believe me otherwise. I wish i could wear a sign listing the pain that's currently going on inside me! Trying to succeed in corporate America with migraines is tough... and not many people recognize it.

Thanks again for the feedback everyone!

Jeffrey Hall

10/19/07 6:24am

Your bosses are JERKS. Plain and simple. Making you srive all the way to work to PROVE you have a migraine is ridiculous.

I don't even think a neurologist can tell if your actually having a migraine (unless maybe they did a contrast MRI to check for vasodialation, blood test to check Seratonin levels, and maybe there is some from of high tech test to see if your Trigeminal Nerve is registering abnormally.)

That is not only a blatent violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act, but they could also be putting your safety and the safety of other drivers on the road in jeapordy, depending on the severity of your headache and what abortive steps you have taken to avert the headache BEFORE making to humiliating decision to call in sick again.

Would they make a diabetic drive to work and show them their glucose monitor? Would they make an epileptic drive to work while having a seizure?

Ive put up with the same kind of crap myself many, many times. These are also the kinds of bosses who if you try to file a request for reasonable accomodations or file a complaint with the E.E.O.C., they just look for another excuse to fire you or try to frame you for dereliction of duty.

Why should we be expected to live on an SSI check when we are fully capable of preforming as well or even better than other employees on non migraine days?

On one construction job I had, I used the Estimating Guide to prove that on my non-Migraine days I was actually preforming 2-5 times the work that the estimating guide rationalizes charging 8 hours of labor for, and about twice as much as employees who were being paid more than I. I aso noted that much less of my work had to be "reworked" than other employees, who seemingly ignored the building code and did not pass inspectin, or simply did not have the foresight to read through other pages of the blueprints to see where subcontractors in other trades would clash with us.

What did I ge it return? The V.P. used my stats to insist that other employees work harder, and let them know that it was I who brought this to his attention that it was possible to get this much work done in 8 hours. This was an obvious attempt to turn my coworkers against me and create a hostile work environment because I was threatening to contact the EEOC and Attorney General. I know this is wrong, but I sometimes caught myself praying that someone in this person's family would be stricken with an equal or more severe disorder to teach him a lesson.

Here are a couple of good links regarding "Invisible Disabilities" such as ours:

The Invisible Disabilities Advocate

http://www.myida.org/

National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week

www.invisibleillness.com

I wish you the best of luck, and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

achinghead

10/19/07 11:16am

Amen...boy do I feel for you...I'm on SS Disability because of Chronic Daily Migraines (no, not caused by too much medication)...and I remember the days before I was fired (due to my migraines)...I always felt the fake sympathy...or even lack thereof...keep trying Lucy.....

lucyinthesky

10/19/07 1:33pm

Jeffrey - you're right - they ARE jerks! I try to look at it from their point of view... dealing with all the employees who do cry wolf and say they're sick just to get time off. However, it still infuriates me the way migraines are not on the same level as other debilitating issues. For those of you on disability (Achinghead), I feel for ya. Getting fired for something you don't have control over is the worst. Thanks to everyone for support! We're all in this together...

nathaniel

10/19/07 11:19am

i totally understand this as i am recently suffering from migraine as well.

and yes i was actually feeling lucky for migraine striking in the middle of the night so during the day i won't embarrass myself with the pain at work.

i had to leave home in the afternoon one day last week, and took a few days off using my annual leaves. my firm requires a doctor's certificate for taking a day off, which i really didn't bother to do as i have no energy to walk out to see anyone.

i am lucky that i only have it for around a month each year.

Heather

10/19/07 5:45pm

I TOTALLY know how you feel both physically and mentally! NO ONE understands they think you are playing hooky or just plain lazy. They say to one another "I come to work when I have a headache, take an aspirin and come to work." What they don't get is that you don't have a headache that Excedrin will cure! This is a condition that we suffer with and that not only does our work suffer but our home lives suffer too. I don't just call in sick to work I call in on my life too! There are plenty of parties and famliy gatherings that I have had to miss because I have a migraine. I have been somewhat fortunate to work in places where at least one or two people are living with migraines too. But the downfall is NONE of them get them weekly like I do. So people ask me "Why don't you see a doctor for that?" as if I haven't tried everything I can to rid myself of this isolating hell! SO I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone and helps me to read that I am not either!!!! Good thing we dont work for the same company they would think we were together partying!!

lucyinthesky

10/19/07 10:04pm

OMG - Don't you just love the "Have you taken anything for it?" question? Or when they ask (without any real interest) if you've seen a doctor for it.

I realize that people are just asking questions to make conversation, but it's seriously like asking a person with some other major disability like epilepsy if they've seen a doctor yet. OF COURSE I HAVE!

Because of my migraines, I try to be more sensitive to others with chronic back pain, shoulder pain, etc. and not ask stupid questions. I also have a bond of sorts with the two other co-workers who suffer from migraines (like Ditto, they don't suffer from them as often as I do).

Keep venting! It's helped me a lot!

anthony

10/20/07 10:57am

lucyinthesky you are not alone I to have no vac/sick leave left employers act like they care but if you cant get disabillity pay you are stuck. I do feel for you.

okmedhead

10/20/07 2:21pm

I had plenty of sick and annual leave left. But because I had no backup, it was very obvious when I was not at work aka I usually do what my boss was suppose to be doing so if I wasn't there doing it, he might look bad. The stress--which did not cause the headaches, but did make them worse--finally got so bad, that I talked to HR and they suggested I apply for long term disability--not SSI, but the private insurance I had been paying premiums on. The policy is to take 6 months off, with pay (use up all sick and annual leave and then the company will make up the rest) and during that time the insurance will determine my eligibility for LTD pay. When I told my boss, he was stunned. Because you can only take disability if you are really sick, you can only give one-two days notice. If he had not harassed me so much for the few days I did take off, I never would have pursued it. But I was at a breaking point, so I left and even though I left everything current and documented, he was in a world of hurt. I have now been approved, even though it will be at lower percentage of my salary, but my boss lost a hard worker who simply needed some understanding when my chronic daily headaches flared up to full-blown migraines. I am going to a headache clinic in a couple of weeks (this will be my 3rd hospitalization so wish me luck). Now I am free to focus on getting well instead of worrying about whether I will have to go to work with a bad migraine tomorrow. Someday bosses will learn that an effective worker, even though disabled, is more valuable than the worker gone.

--okmedhead

Migraine Chick

10/22/07 7:26am

I totally understand how you are feeling, especially with having to stare at a computer screen while having a migraine at work. Sometimes, my head hurts so bad that I can barely focus on the screen, so I have to close my eyes for a few minutes. Then I've been accused by my co-workers for napping, which is the farthest thing from the truth! If they only knew what I was going through, but there is no way to make them understand, unless they are going through it themselves!

GidgetCommando

10/23/07 11:09am

Thankfully, my boss is very supportive and I'm valuable to her and my department, so I've had the accommodations I need to continue to function well. One of the accommodations that helped (in addition to FINALLY finding a meds combo that worked for me) was switching from a big, bulky CRT computer terminal to a flat screen monitor. The old CRT terminals flicker like old fluorescent lights and can trigger a migraine. The flatscreen monitors don't flicker, thus sparing you the constant trigger at work. It won't help with the other obstacles you have to fight, but if it can reduce your pain and stress at work, see if you can get one. In fact, I used an answer from the doctor and Teri on this board to back up my request.

Co-Workers and Migraine

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