Bim,

  I just replied in migraine forum.I'm glad you did this.It may not help you now,but you may help others.

  I think we feel like we always have to be strong.Especially for others.That if we let our emotions out,we are weak,or we are nuts.

  I feel we have alot we are up against.We have pain,guilt,disrespect(not respected as having a disease).

  Last night when I had my "meltdown" I was blurting out how I understand my mother now more than I ever did.That I wish she was here so I could talk to her,so I could tell her that.

  Her life would've been for her if doctors had treated her with respect and she wasn't afraid to speak up.

  She suffered emotionally,and they costs her years of pain and in my opinion caused her body to go downhill.Chalking much of what she was going thru to emotions.

  We have to keep up with our journals,our diaries.One thing is sometimes I think I've had a good week or month and look back and wonder how I made it thru.

  Or I think I've had it bad for so long and look back and see I did better than I thought.Our mind is a funny thing.It can play tricks on us.And we know we've got enough going on without that.

  I'm glad you're reaching out.I feel that's a good sign.My brother who had a heart attack kept everything in.Now I see in him such a difference.Almost a glow.Wanting to reach out.Wanting to "be".

Take care of yourself.As bad as you feel,as down as you feel,find something positive.I go to sites that have short video affirmations.Sometimes I cry thru them.

  Lately I've been going to youtube and finding videos of favorite artists.I'm 49,so....I like everything from John Lennon to John Denver.You can find things ready made there for what you're feeling.

  Just some suggestions.I really want you to feel better.They say time heals,but there are times we need help.