What is the Cause

my heart doesn't work right
apparently, it hasn't for years
and I think that all I've lost in the meantime
the ability to run and climb like the other kids
but it's made me into an introspect, an artist and writer
someone who is cautious
I wouldn't trade that, but I would like some balance,
not to run into people and things, maybe to stay awake
does it make my head hurt?
I don't know, I'm sure it factors
with the hormonal ups and downs of being a girl
and I can't articulate sometimes, the fury of being made fun of
because I'm not supposed to sleep all the time or be sick
no one's capable of that, are they?  Hypochondriac.
well I am, and I finally have an answer, so you can shut up now
it's sad that I had to prove to you what I've known for years
but I know you now know, but I've never heard you say you're sorry
I can't describe the pain like others can
to me there's nothing to compare it to
not when it is really bad
mostly it is just there, in the back of my head, squirming
mild, but messing with speech and sight, the ability to make connections
sometimes I can't remember anything, and I want to throw up
but I can't, so I sit on the bathroom floor, lights off, shaking
grasping at medication to make me well enough to function again.