Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Well, the past few days have been bummers.
I went to the ER over the weekend because of chest pain that didn't seem like normal asthma pain. Turns out I have inflammed muscles in my chest and around my ribs. The ER doctors told me it was likely due to stress.
I specifically did not tell my sister that I went because they gave me an Rx for vicodin. My sister is addicted to pain medication. The last time I went to the ER with the worst migraine I'd ever had, they gave me vicodin. I asked for just enough to get me through, so they gave me 5. She called and called, begging me for "just a couple" of my 5 pills. Nevermind that I was very sick, just, "Gimme your pills!" I told her no that time.
That was two years ago. This time, my mom let slip to my sister that I had been in the ER for pain, and that the doctors gave me vicodin. I didn't get the Rx filled--I take too much medication right now and I figured Aleve would help with the inflammation. I never intended to get the Rx filled anyway. But lo, and behold, my sister calls and begs me for my vicodin. She didn't ask how I was. I told her no over and over and over. I even told her why--she's addicted, she takes too much of her own and then runs out, she lies to her doctor to get more, so on and so forth. She was a totally different person when she begged. It was frightening, and enraging, and I called my mom shaking and crying to find out why she'd told my sister I had vicodin. I truly think my mom wasn't thinking when she did it, and I don't blame her, but I felt pretty helpless. I don't like getting angry with people. But my sister pushed me too far. And I know she is in pain due to some problems, but instead of seeing the doctor she self medicates...More out of dependence issues now I'm afraid, than any real physical need for medication.
I avoided talking to my sister for 2 days. She kept calling me and leaving messages about how sorry she was and how she didn't want me to be mad at her. Too bad. I'm already feeling like I am on a downward spiral again and she's just making it worse. She doesn't feel like she did anything wrong, but I would never go to her and beg her for her medication if I ran out of mine. I get 9 Axert a month as opposed to her 2 different pains scripts. In 6 months I have never once begged her to give me any of her pills. I do run out some months...So I do what I can to deal. I save my Axert for the bad spells if I can help it.
And you know what she did? When I took the chance to talk to her yesterday she had the gall to ask me if I'd gotten the Rx filled! She "only needed a couple, her prescription would be filled tomorrow." I told her I wasn't talking to her about it anymore and hung up. I am still angry and hurt. My mom talked to her about it this morning. I know she is now mad at me, but somehow I can't be bothered to care.
I went to the ER over the weekend because of chest pain that didn't seem like normal asthma pain. Turns out I have inflammed muscles in my chest and around my ribs. The ER doctors told me it was likely due to stress.
I specifically did not tell my sister that I went because they gave me an Rx for vicodin. My sister is addicted to pain medication. The last time I went to the ER with the worst migraine I'd ever had, they gave me vicodin. I asked for just enough to get me through, so they gave me 5. She called and called, begging me for "just a couple" of my 5 pills. Nevermind that I was very sick, just, "Gimme your pills!" I told her no that time.
That was two years ago. This time, my mom let slip to my sister that I had been in the ER for pain, and that the doctors gave me vicodin. I didn't get the Rx filled--I take too much medication right now and I figured Aleve would help with the inflammation. I never intended to get the Rx filled anyway. But lo, and behold, my sister calls and begs me for my vicodin. She didn't ask how I was. I told her no over and over and over. I even told her why--she's addicted, she takes too much of her own and then runs out, she lies to her doctor to get more, so on and so forth. She was a totally different person when she begged. It was frightening, and enraging, and I called my mom shaking and crying to find out why she'd told my sister I had vicodin. I truly think my mom wasn't thinking when she did it, and I don't blame her, but I felt pretty helpless. I don't like getting angry with people. But my sister pushed me too far. And I know she is in pain due to some problems, but instead of seeing the doctor she self medicates...More out of dependence issues now I'm afraid, than any real physical need for medication.
I avoided talking to my sister for 2 days. She kept calling me and leaving messages about how sorry she was and how she didn't want me to be mad at her. Too bad. I'm already feeling like I am on a downward spiral again and she's just making it worse. She doesn't feel like she did anything wrong, but I would never go to her and beg her for her medication if I ran out of mine. I get 9 Axert a month as opposed to her 2 different pains scripts. In 6 months I have never once begged her to give me any of her pills. I do run out some months...So I do what I can to deal. I save my Axert for the bad spells if I can help it.
And you know what she did? When I took the chance to talk to her yesterday she had the gall to ask me if I'd gotten the Rx filled! She "only needed a couple, her prescription would be filled tomorrow." I told her I wasn't talking to her about it anymore and hung up. I am still angry and hurt. My mom talked to her about it this morning. I know she is now mad at me, but somehow I can't be bothered to care.
