Well...went to the neurologist today (nuerosurgeon had to reschedule) and I didn't get the best of news.  He said my migraines may be as good as they are going to get.  He wants to try adding Verapamil to med regimine as there has been some success with that in hemiplegic migraines. (thanks Nancy, I didn't get to read your post but it is nice to know you had heard this somewhere else also).

He also told me he also is afraid I may never be able to work as a nurse in the patient care arena again.  This hit me like a ton of bricks.  I was not ready for that one.  Being a pediatric ICU nurse is part of who I am.  I miss it so much, I just can't imagine never being able to do it again.  I really want to cry but the tears just won't come.  I know there are other areas of nursing to work in, but it's the interaction with the patients and families that I enjoy.  I adrenaline rush of the trauma admit, the postop cardiac patient that has to be re-explored in the room, the code in the middle of the night, using those assessment skills that prevent that middle of the night code that I love.  It's what I have trained all these years for.  I am overwhelemed with sadness.

Thanks again you stupid drunk.  I hope you enjoyed your drinks!