I feel like my world is closing in on me. I am to go see my neurologist on Wed. Luckily he sees me for gratis. Praise God because I have no money to pay him. I haven't had any income since Feb of last year. I haven't met his criteria to be released to go back to work. Too many migraines in the past 90 days. They are getting shorter thanks to verapamil but still too many to be released.
To top that off my spinal injury is regressing. I know have severe shooting pains that encircle my entire body making me feel like I am having a kidney stone but 3 cat scans later, there are no stones, so I have to go see a new neurosurgeon who can't get me in until the 25th which doesn't seem that far away except I have been dealing with this excruciatin pain since mid January (any of you who have had a kidney stone know what I am talking about) and no one will give me any pain medicatoin until I see the new neurosurgeon. It's been pure hell (sorry about the language). I can't sit. stand or walk for any period of time with severe pain. I can't sleep. I could pack for weeks with the bags under my eyes.
No one seems to think I am really in pain. I guess the old nursing addage that " pain is what the patient says it is" no longer applies. I guess I don't complain, writhe and moan enough. I'm sorry but that is not how I was raised. I'm german. We are stoic people. To make matters even worse (is this possible?) we had an ice storm and guess who fell on the ice....you guessed it right on my tailbone. This did not help the situation.
Not that anyone cares. My family is anythign but symapathetic, it's still ' can you take me to the doctor, can you watch my kids, can you take me to the store, can you take out the trash, aren't you going to cook dinner.'
My psychological state is failing quickly. But I can't find a psychologist or psychiatrist who will take me becuase my insurace only covers 50% and I can't pay the other 50% up front, so it's a no go. And they wonder why people commit suicide. I can tell you why, no one wants to help the disadvantaged, those who have insurance but no income, those who truly need disability but can't get it, those who have been royally screwed by the legal system who lets drunk drivers off with picking up trash for four days, while the victim is still suffering 19months later....that's why!
You truly are going through a lot and it feels like the world is against you and closing in, I know. Don't give up it will get better have faith. I truly believe if God brings you to it he brings you through it. (Sorry don't mean to preach here). Like was mentioned before there may be social services in your area that could help you through this. I am sorry your family is not supportive, at times I know my family is not either. I think it is hard for them to see what I call my invisible pain. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that your appointment has nothing but positive results for you. Don't let go of the rope yet Michelle, you have so much more to accomplish! 
There may be some couseling services available from your church other religous institutions(you don't have to be a member of that particular faith) at a reduced cost.
Your neurologist is a gem to see you gratis, a true doctor. Some other medications used for HM are lamictal, and diamox. You may want to discuss this with your neurologist.
How much verapamil are you taking? There is some concern about high dose verapamil and heart issues. Please don't panic, just read this information and discuss with your doctor if you are on a HIGH dose of verapamil. High Dose Verapamil Problematic in Cluster Headache Treatment.