I believe the Migraine book I'm working on, Migraine Expressions, will help illustrate some of the frustrations we all have -- those of us trying to explain our Migraine experience and our families and loved ones who have their unique experiences with it. There are wonderful perspectives submitted for the book by family members who live with the disease, too.
I'm sorry for your frustration, Tim, but glad that you are supportive and a comfort to your wife. My husband has always been there for me, too, and I don't know what I would have done without him at times over the last 30-some years!
I wish I had the book ready and published already... please contact me if you or your wife would like to submit a written piece to be considered for the book. The deadline has passed but you could hurry...
Hang in there!
Betsy B
Not only do people not understand about an invisible illness, when they think they do, this is how they define YOU. Not only do you look okay, but you still must have symptoms so anything is attributed to this malady, is because of "it". The constant explainations and trials are exhausting. I've found myself actually avoiding people because I just can't cope with this over compensation. I am not a walking migraineur in progress!.
Migraine is a horrible disease, but having someone around to understand you or even take care of you does mean alot . But i guess that is so difficult for me .. coz no one does and as you said its an invisible disease , all what they think about is that " its just a headache what to worry about we all have headaches " . I hide my migraine attacks .. try to deal with it my own take my bills without anyone knowing , waking up after midnight just to put cold compresser on my head coz i couldn't sleep from the headache ..and tears in my eyes; i rather take all that alone than to share my pain or complain to anyone . Coz i can't take their comments and looks as if i am making it all up !
Its like hell....! i know , but no one can understand but those who had it.
I have been a migraineur since age 11 (am now 48.) I will never forget that first one, I was sitting in the Living Room with my family and suddenly when I went to speak....it was nonsense. I knew what I was trying to say but couldn't figure out how to form the words. I have been told for years that I will eventually grow out of these. I can't wait for that magical day! They have been so bad that I actually have gone into seizure activity. I can't imaging hiding the symptoms. The migraines had a devastating effect on my marriage; being a single parent has definitely had it's challenges. How nice it would have been to have had an understanding husband. How blessed some of you are. Yet somehow, we persevere in search of the elusive cure or remedy. Never give up the fight.
Sorry Tim for being slow on the uptake, but my husband is right there in the trenches with you. He has taken on nurses, dr.s, nurse practioners and any and all comers for me for 18 years. I can't even speak at times and like your wife my right side refuses to work at all also. I finally just found out this is a hemiplegic migraine. My husband had just hung my morning IV solution when I fell over, couldn't move, or talk and started throwing up, he thought he was killing me! That was five plus years ago, and I finally was able to tell him from reading this site, this is what it was. He's had five years of torment over this! Believe me, your wife and myself consider ourselves lucky, blessed and anything else to have you in our lives. I know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my husband. Take care of yourself and wife and let the others jump off someplace very high.
I too had suffered migrains for many many years ago.still do sometimes,but after my devorced i can enjoy life again,There's nothing more horrible when you're husband leaves you while you're migraine is so painfull and all i can do is pray that God will take me now as my pain is so unbearable.
AS of now i'm managing my migraine well,while my sister is in and out of the ER 3 to 4 times a week.So all i can say thank you to the people out there that sympathize with thier friends and love one who suffers from this unbearable pain.
hi im anna and i feel for you, im 14 yrs old and i started getting migrains when i'd just turned 13, i hate it aswell, when i have a migraine in school and i just lie there and my teachers and friends feel usseless to and because my muscles go completely limp, i cant walk away or anything and its really embarrasing .