Writing As a Release from Migraine

Completely describes what pass for my  live, I have chronic intractable complicate migraine headaches (3 to 4 attacks a week) and fibromialgia

if I did not have a family and friends as good as mine I will be dead, because to live like this can not be worse than to die. I TRY to do many things to try to cope with the pain: write, calligrapy, paint, beading, knitting, crochetting, neddlepoint, reading...in the bad days. But often the pain gets so bad that I cannot do anything but laid there in the dark, praying to die soom so this nitghmare will end.

I have went to many doctor and try many things (oxigen, accupunture and other alternative stuff too) plus any medication you can toss at my  and they either did not work, they work just a litlle for a little while or the side effects sent me to the ER. They are probably drugs that will aliviate my pain? but doctors in this country would not prescribe them because I may "enjoy" them too much oh God help me, get dependen on them. I am on morphine, only 20 pills a month of 30ml  that I sould take only @ the last resort. Some times no even morphine helps.

And yes I am in therapy for depresion and taking medication too, but don't you think is totally natural, normal, and human to feel like diying when you have to live under torture 24/7 ? What it is "healthy" ? to be happy with the pain an enjoy it? Give a break...