Not tonight, I've got a headache

By Solta Monday, March 10, 2008

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This is a phrase joken about in our culture. Little do so many know about what headaches can do to the intimate portions of a couple's relationship. Tonight, while trying to cuddle I began to feel that pinching pain in my neck and shoulder. Nothing would get rid of it. I shifted posture several times to no avail. Kisses are nice, but, when there is pain sometimes affection is irritating and the pain difficult to put out of your mind. Then there are times when I have started new meds and am too groggy to think about anything. I just want to sleep. At those times being romantic is not enticing at all. How about when I have a mind numbing headache and loads of muscle relaxing, sleep inducing medication is all that helps. That also doesn't help out with intimacy. Out of all of those the worst has been that the preventative meds often strip any desire out of me at all. To the point that a hug seems like a foreign gesture that I plain do not understand the need for. Some people might add that the frequent weight gain from preventative meds and the problems with taking oral contraceptives (they worsen headaches in some, preventative meds make contraceptives fail at higher rates) also impact their lives. I never would have thought this to be so impacted from my migraine disease. Especially as I do not get headaches from exertion or sexual activity. What I do know is it does bring tears and frustrations. It does make me curse the chronic headaches. It also makes me want to fight them harder... for someday there just might be a cure.

Cycles and Female things

Comments (2) | Add comment

Eileen Gray

3/12/08 4:08pm

that the "big O" can also help to abort a migraine? Teri did a share post on it a while back.

I know, it's the last thing you want to think about when you are in pain. And then, add in the meds that make it that much harder to "get there" - is just frustrating as all heck!

If you medication is really putting a damper on your sex life, you should talk to your doctor about it. Maybe it can be changed or tweaked or something. I brought this up with my doctor and we are in the process of working on it.

Good luck - I know it's a touchy subject - sometimes the spouse just doesn't understand, or they do - but it's difficult.

Here is the link to the article Teri wrote on the subject.

http://www.healthcentral.com/migraine/triggers-161473-5.html

Eileen

happyarch

3/15/08 10:36pm

Hi Solta,

I certainly hear where you are coming from. My husband often wonders why I was so into sex at the beginning of our relationship and now I could take it or leave it -- but don't get me wrong I love my husband dearly.

I struggle with the pain. My migraines are triggered by exercise / exertion and can be made worse by these as well. To top it off, I take anti-depressants and it definitely affects my libido.

I see a psychologist who specializes in depression and pain and she encourages me to be intimate even if I don't necessarily feel like it. I make the effort and am often surprised that I enjoy it.

Though the anti-depressant reduces my libido, it helps my mood, and that often puts me in the mood.

I find that intimacy is definitely different as a chronic migraine sufferer. On days where I don't feel like I'm dying I make the effort. The big "O" can help or hurt my migraine. The key is to get the blood moving -- preferable away from one's head.

For my marriage and my sanity it is worth making the attempt as often as I can.

HappyArch

Not tonight, I've got a headache

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