How far do I have to go?

My dear sweet Eileen. I hate it when people are inconsiderate. This co-worker is obviously centered on herself. If the conversation she had with your boss does not work, you can go to your Human Resources department to discuss the issue - but tell your boss first. She (he?) obviously understands your issue or she wouldn't take the time to discuss it with Miss Odiferous. Beyond that, find out what your company's SOPs are regarding workplace environment. Keep us posted.

Eileen, honey, there comes a point where you can't continue to just be "nice" about your needs and expect to be accommodated. It's crummy that that's the way the world works, but there it is. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I'm fortunate I haven't run into this problem at work yet, but really it's just been luck thus far.

If this latest conversation between your boss and PG (perfume girl) doesn't resolve the problem, then you are going to have to take this to the next level. I would have another conversation with your boss, and lay out very clearly your problem, even if you've told him before. Say that migraines are a neurological disease, and yours are triggered by things like PG's vicious perfume. (Ok, maybe don't call it vicious.)Tell him you understand and appreciate that he has spoken with her, but that has not resolved the situation. She is impacting your ability to work and make a living, and costing you money out of pocket and in sick time every day she wears perfume. If your company can't make the reasonable accommodation for a perfume-free environment for you, they'll need to make other arrangements for you.

I'm suggesting you have this conversation one last time with him before you go above his head. Let him know when you talk to him that if this can't be resolved by X date that you will talk to X people. You can't be expected to deal with a personnel problem. That isn't your job. Reasonably, you shouldn't have to try to convince PG to stop her nasty habit. That should be up to your boss.

You may also want to talk to Diana Lee over at SHM. She's a patient's rights advocate and may be able to help you out on this issue. Just remember that at this point, you need to stop being "nice" and start being clear and firm with your needs. That doesn't mean yelling and screaming, but it does mean being direct. It's hard for us as women to do this sometimes, but if you don't stand up for you, who will?

We're all here for you, girl. It's really appalling to me how much we have to go through just to try to lead something resembling normal lives. I'm really hoping you can get this resolved without it turning any more sticky than it already is. *hugs* to you.

First off....I feel for you. These people just have no idea, and what kind of person would do this knowing it effects you? I think the stress of dealing with people like this in the workplace doesn't help. I am not working as of last July. I can tell you this, no matter what you say and do, the co-workers and people around you, will say they understand, or pretend to.........but in reality, there are very "few" who do and will be there for you. That's why you have to turn to your family and friends outside of work, and vent to them. In the meantime, maybe you can ask to be moved away from her. I don't know what the situation is, but I worked in an office where I put up with comments about me having headaches, well, I used the word, "migraine," and they still didn't get it. When I went part time, I was talked about, like I was taking a vacation. It made me more upset, and fianally I decided I had no choice but to quit. I hope you can work around this person, and make the best of your work place, but if not, maybe you will have to find another job. I hate to say that, but I changed jobs several times. Also, don't forget there is FMLA papers your doctor can sign protecting your job. Although, this still got me a lot of slack. Hang in there. I will pray for you.

Denise

Hi Ellen,

I have been diagnosed with hemicrania continua in December and have been given verapamil,elavil,pamelor and was even put in the hospital to get the DHE45 treatments but I got such bad side effects that I could only take 1 pill then had to stop.

Do you have hemicrania?

The Dr gave me a few Frova and I tried one the other day and it helped half a day.I was afraid to take a second one,I had bad nausea and didn't know if I could take anything for my stomach.

The Dr wants me to take Topamax also but don't think I will be able to handle it.

I have been in the house since Christmas except to go to Dr.

I am starting to feel depressed about it now that the nice weather is starting. I heard the Frova is $65 for 9 pills,thats expensive.

Any suggestions?Please help

Lee

Hi Ellen

I just read your story and had to write.I was diagnosed with hemicrania at Christmas and have tried three different medications and went to hospital for DHE45 treatment.I could not take the medications because I couldn't stand the side effects.

I thought I couldn't take Frova because when I tried it I didn't realize I had a bug and it wasn't the Frova that made me vomit it was the bug.

I tried it again 2 days ago and it worked for half a day,I was afraid to take second one.

Do you have hemicrania continua?

I want to get prescription for Frova to give it a chance because I have been stuck in the house for over 4 months but I called the pharmacy and they said with my insurance it would cost $65 for 9 pills.Thats a lot.

I also was given topamax but haven't taken it yet but another person from this site writes me and I think I will take the advice to try the topamax also.

Does the Frova give you upset stomack? It did to me but I had some relief.

Any info would be appreciated

Thank you

LEE

Hi Ellen

I just read your story and had to write.I was diagnosed with hemicrania at Christmas and have tried three different medications and went to hospital for DHE45 treatment.I could not take the medications because I couldn't stand the side effects.

I thought I couldn't take Frova because when I tried it I didn't realize I had a bug and it wasn't the Frova that made me vomit it was the bug.

I tried it again 2 days ago and it worked for half a day,I was afraid to take second one.

Do you have hemicrania continua?

I want to get prescription for Frova to give it a chance because I have been stuck in the house for over 4 months but I called the pharmacy and they said with my insurance it would cost $65 for 9 pills.Thats a lot.

I also was given topamax but haven't taken it yet but another person from this site writes me and I think I will take the advice to try the topamax also.

Does the Frova give you upset stomack? It did to me but I had some relief.

Any info would be appreciated

Thank you

LEE

Unfortunately it looks like it might be time to take this case to court.  I know that's a big hassle and a mess, but you simply cannot work in an environment like that.  I would tell your boss that you really have no other choice in this matter, and that you want to keep your job, so the only way you feel you can make this happen is if you take this case to court and FORCE your employer to FORCE that employee to STOP wearing perfume, period.  There is a lady here at my work who also always wears strong perfume.  Fortunately it sort of stays in her office where she is at, but if I ever have to go into her office, I almost immediately start feeling seasick (sign of a migraine coming on) and have to plug my nose (breathe through my mouth).  I never have to stay around her for long so I am fortunate there.

I have had this same experience and I really feel for you. Just when I was starting to get my migraines in control, someone was hired who wore perfume that would trigger a headache. I went to my boss, my boss's boss and our HR department. I even had my doctor write a letter to our HR dept.  explaining that I can not work in such an environement. It actually made the situation worse. The women was so defensive that she started wearing more perfume. No one understood and thought I was making too big a deal. I was told by HR that it was MY problem, not hers! They said if she came to work without wearing deodarant (or has body oder) that it would be offensive, but not perfume. I withstood 9 months and contimplated quitting. Eventually the women was let go, not for the perfume, but for her behavior...she began almost stalking me...following me around, hanging around my desk,  getting up and moving to sit next to me in meetings. But I am viewed as "difficult" to work with now for pushing the issue.

Unfortunately, people just don't get it!

Hi Eileen,

I feel you on the perfume. Only musky perfumes seem to bother me though.

I would politely, but firmly discuss this with the woman until I was blue in the face and gave her a headache. I don't know if that is considered harrassment but, I feel she is harrassing you with her perfume.

Your best bet is to listen to the other ladies and speak to your boss again. It is definitely his/her job to accomadate you. How can you be expected to work under these conditions? A note from your doctor would help as well. I really hate how people are ignorant and inconsiderate about migraines. They are not just headaches! I don't have to tell you though.

If you have to keep using the Fova because of that lady, I would show her a copy of your bill and show a copy to your boss. See how wonderful they think that it works at that price.

Hi, I really feel for you and hope the perfume has stopped for good.

I really think lack of education is a huge problem.  Most people are uneducated as far as migraines go and don't realise it is a disease.  I mean, nobody would hold an epileptic down and flash lights in their face, that would be outrageously cruel.  But it is ok to wear strong perfume that causes a migraine sufferer to have an attack!  If the general population were educated, these ongoing situations wouldn't arise.  Because most people know so little about migraines they just think we are moaning or trying to get time off work.  I am now unable to hold down a job in a workplace so I am fortunate enough to work from home part time.  I don't tell people this though.  It's funny how we hide it because people generally don't understand which comes back to lack of education.  Hopefully in our lifetime people will become more aware of migraine disease.  I really hope there are no more smells for you!  Love Helen.

QVC the home shopping channel, has a non-perfume policy, to help with people that have allergies or triggers to migraines from it.  Maybe you could contact their corporate office and see if they'd be willing to send you a model policy to present to your bosses.  I never realized how my perfume effected other people, 'til a woman at QVC who was highly allergic to perfumes, came up to me and said "do you realize how heavy your perfume is, and how it hurts me?".  Tears came to my eyes, I hadn't even been able to smell my own perfume, anymore, because I'd put it on early that morning, and not heavily, just a spritz.  I apologized to that poor woman, I could tell she'd been through a lot by the look on her face and in her eyes.  I wish you the best of everything, I really do.  Hugs.

Hello Eileen - I truly hope your perfume girl has finally gotten the sense to stop wearing her perfume even if it was from all of the talkings to.  My perfume girl is going to be in for a bit of a surprise in about a month when an announcement comes out that I will be her new manager.  She doesn't know anything about this yet.  This is going to be a great challenge for both of us!  I wish you the best with your perfume girl.   Snickers

Hi

I finally took my first Topamax last night and no side effects yet.

I guess I still don't understand this whole thing.Please explain to me about topamax.Is topamax supposed to get rid of a headache or just keep under control? I am not on anything else so what do I take for headache? I am so confused.

I had a sample of Frova and took it before I started on Topamax but the nausea was really bad.Can you tell me some headache meds that I can discuss with Dr and meds for nausea?

Thank you

LEE