I'm Back

I have kind of holed up for the past few weeks, not writing, not talking to friends, because I was scared. Scared out of my mind.

In April I started having trouble with my leg and arms. They were really numb, and bugging me, but I wrote it off as a side effect of basilar migraines. Migraines like that can and often do include stroke-like symptoms, and can end in a Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA). Not fun. It got worse, and I talked to the pain clinic about them. It got written off. I went to a neurologist. Again, a write off.

It got really bad in December. So bad I bought a cane. Not fun. I finally got listened to by the wonderful Dr W. And got sent in for a MRA. And to the neurologist. Who sent me for an MRI and an EMG. All were normal. So I go back to Dr W., and have been tested for Hep C, Lyme disease, heavy metals, and vitamin b12 deficiency. I also need to face up to the fact that I might have fibromyalgia, a diagnosis that I have been fighting off. I hope that it is something with a cure- because to be honest, I am not up for another chronic thing. The migraines are bad enough as it is.

I did learn something about myself though. I learned that I could stare a nasty possibility in the eye and go ahead with my days. I learned that time is a gift, and that I need to remember that. I learned that I can handle whatever comes my way. Of course, all of this was realized after I was told it was not ALS, as we feared. That was a really, really great thing to hear. I am not ready to have to start figuring out how to say goodbye to my kids. That weighed hard on our whole family for a long time.

Now I am doing a bit better, but my fingers are going numb as I type. My head has been awful the past few days, the weather is cloudy and overcast half the day, sunny the rest, and that does me in. I found another drug to add to my arsenal, so that has been a good thing. I gained 30lbs from prolonged time on prednisone, after I struggled to lose weight for years, to gain over a quarter of it back. But, I can get it off. I can make it through the migraines. I can do anything. I think it took a health scare to make me realize this.