Understanding Invisible Illnesses

When I meet someone new, and the dreaded So-where-do-you-work question comes up, I usually say I'm not working at the moment, and that I used to work in research. It's far easier than dealing with the look of confusion that washes over their face when I confess that I can't work consistently due to disabling, uncontrollable Migraine attacks, Fibromyalgia pain, and sensitivity to some of the chemicals the rest of the world can't detect. (Add to that list the newly discovered Obstructive Sleep Apnea.)

I would guess the confusion has to do with the fact that I'm standing right in front of them, no cane or wheelchair, with the ability to speak clearly. I look fine, attractive even. My illnesses are clearly hidden. Do I use this opportunity to tell my story? I've been through that enough with doctors, therapists, co-workers, lawyers, and insurance companies to drum up the energy to do so.

Unless they're experiencing them, most people don't understand invisible illnesses, more specifically invisible diseases, like Migraine. Even the medical community is still learning how Migraines occur and why. So how in the world can anyone really know what it's like to live with them unless you...well...live with them.

Let's say you've been invited to a party, and you need to R.S.V.P. This should be an easy task, but if you have Migraines a sense of stress may come over you. After all, you're being asked to predict how you'll feel that specific day, between the hours of "uh" and "oh." After you give the host a "Maybe," you then have to make sure you have all the medications you may need. You begin to drudge up worst case scenarios like what if the food and drink being served will trigger an attack? What if the party is indoors and someone is wearing perfume? What if you weren't able to get enough sleep the night before? Migraineurs long for the day when all they have to do is say "Yes, I'll be there." And the only stress is what gift little Johnny will adore or what wine to bring.

If you know someone living with invisible illness the best advice I can give is to be patient and don't take it personal if we need to cancel plans.