Q: What are the phases of recovery after Chronic Intractable Migraine or illness?
In just the last couple of months I have exited a 12 year period of Chronic Migraine or Intractable Migraine. I think my recovery is finally a result of Botox for Migraine treatment and another new med. I am a 37 year old single female school teacher. Now that I am sick so much less, I have time and physical ability to live life again. But, my entire life has been trying to survive the school day sick and then just survive being sick whenever not at work. Now I am physically able to do more and have time, but I have no idea what to do with myself. I don't know what I like or enjoy because I've been unable to do anything other than struggle to get by for so long. Being constantly sick with Migraine meant I developed only a couple of friendships and those friends are busy with their lives. My family is not available for any type of support. I haven't had any caregivers other than my Dr and Neurologist. Because I'm a public school teacher and have great medical bills I struggle financially to make minimum ends meet.
I'm going through phases of intense emotions. Part of me wants so badly to get out and to do things. But, I just don't know what I want to do and have internal struggle between my impulse to isolate and desire to be around other people again. At times I feel intensely depressed and terribly lonely. I felt this way before when I was sick too. But, now there is greater impetus to how I feel. I feel greatly dissatisfied with my life and I don't know how to fix it.
In some ways, I feel like I have been absent from my life these past years of sickness and now my life is empty. Now that I'm feeling better I'm realizing that I don't have the things in my life I want and need. Others around me have families, hobbies, passions, goals, things they enjoy. I don't have any of these things and feel it deeply.
I find that I am completely sick of school (my work) and no longer enjoy the small things I clung to for distraction when I was sick.
I wish I had the money to see a therapist to help guide me through this - but that is not my reality.
I can clearly feel like I am going through some sort of phases here.
Is there any information out there regarding guidance to rebuilding a life after chronic intractable Migraine or major debilitating illness?
Any advise or direction towards help would be greatly appreciated.
As far as I know, "phases of recovery" have never been outlined, possibly because recovery varies so much from one person to the next. As a teacher, don't you have insurance that would cover seeing a therapist? If not, as your doctor or check around with the hospitals and health department in your area. There may well be such services available on a sliding scale based on income.
You might also find it helpful to visit our discussion forum for some support. You'll need to register again once there because it's a separate membership database, but you can use the same member name, email address, and password that you used here. You can find our forum at http://forums.healthcentral.com/discussion/migraine/forums.
I hope this helps,
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