Wow. It must be crazy to hear that you've been suffering with something for 30 years without getting a proper diagnosis/treatment!!
I have recently ridden the TMJ treatment roller coaster, and I just wanted to give a warning to be cautious about treatment. Just like you would with a primary care doctor or neurologist, make sure that you are finding a provider you can trust.
I didn't know anything about TMJ when I went for treatment. I got the name of one specialist from my dentist and was told this person was "the best." I ended up paying $5000 out of pocket up front (I got about $1000 back from insurance) for treatment the doctor couldn't really adequately describe before we got started.
He fit me with an orthodic bite plate which was supposed to even out my bite, then did follow up visits every two weeks or so to ask how it was feeling, sometimes doing tests on it or adjusting it. He also perscribed daily use of Butalbital - a barbituate that can cause rebound headaches - which he told me was a muscle relaxant. He didn't understand the effects it would have on my migraines, and neither did I. After about a year of treatment, I still had (and have) pretty bad TMJ.
Anyway, the point of my rambling story is to 1. make sure any specialist can describe their treatment plan upfront (my guy was more about the sales pitch), and 2. be sure that you are finding someone who can work WITH you, not on you.
I recently found this site that you might want to check out: http://www.nti-tss.com/ It looks like a device that combines treatment of TMJ and migraine. It has a link at the bottom for dentists that use this device ( www.HeadachePrevention.com).
Good luck!!