Is It Okay to Have a Sad Day with MS? Question of the Week

Dan and Jennifer Digmann Health Guide December 03, 2012
  • Do you Facebook? Sounds like a silly question right? It seems like most everyone uses the social media site to stay in touch with friends and family. Heck, I graduated from high school 20 years ago, and even my 10th grade English teacher found me and now we are “friends.” Really, that is ...

3 Comments
  • Michaelbgerber
    Dec. 04, 2012

     

     

    Get off of the “pity pot” and do it quick. My concern would be that the longer you stay there, the harder it is to get off.

     

     How do you get off of the pity pot? You? Spectacular you? When I think of you (and of course, your husband too) I think of the thousands of people who read and want to know what you have to say. Why...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

     

     

    Get off of the “pity pot” and do it quick. My concern would be that the longer you stay there, the harder it is to get off.

     

     How do you get off of the pity pot? You? Spectacular you? When I think of you (and of course, your husband too) I think of the thousands of people who read and want to know what you have to say. Why do they want to know what you have just say? Because you are a great example of what it means to live well with a disability, that life is not measured by the total of one's abilities and that the greatest life comes to those who participated in it most. That's what I think it when I think of you….. and Dan.

     

     Do you deserve to have a bad day? That whole question is filled with judgment by you about what is or is not a good day. I am not always happy and have plenty of moments of frustration and wanting to be able to do the many things that I can no longer do.  Are those bad days?  I would not call them  that because my focus is always on all of the abilities I have. Even during times of great pain, I remind myself that it is only temporary and will go away because it always does. My MO, “modus operandi”, is to shift my focus to all that I have and all that I can do. Even when I get frustrated with my incredible wife, I always stop and remind myself how fortunate I am to have such an incredible partner.

     

     If you are sitting on the “pity pot”,  just think of all of your abilities and all that you can do as your toilet paper and get off!

     

     it was a great question that I know a lot of people will read. Hopefully they will find answers for themselves too.

     

     Michael

    • Dan and Jennifer Digmann
      Health Guide
      Dec. 05, 2012

      Thank you Michael for your kind words and thoughtful response. Looking back at this question I realize my pity party empowers me.

       

      First, I feel sorry for myself or for Dan or any of the other 400,000 Americans dealing with this FRUSTRATING disease and wonder why me/him/anyone has to live with it. Second, I let myself have my moment (and hopefully, it...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Thank you Michael for your kind words and thoughtful response. Looking back at this question I realize my pity party empowers me.

       

      First, I feel sorry for myself or for Dan or any of the other 400,000 Americans dealing with this FRUSTRATING disease and wonder why me/him/anyone has to live with it. Second, I let myself have my moment (and hopefully, it goes by quickly), but I give myself that time and eventually, Third, I figure out what to do to reclaim my kind of control (whatever that may be) over MS.

       

      It is a process but one I need to go through. This MS is scary, uncertain and different for everyone, wouldn't you agree? But it is manageable, especially with family, friends and resources like this one, but I maintain a good pity party can be beneficial... and necessary!

       

      As always, thanks again for giving me a little perspective :-)

       

      Jennifer

    • Suz
      Suz
      Dec. 08, 2012

      HI Jennifer,

      Being gentle with ourselves is a good thing.  I am 'new' to settling into a diagnosis. I've been dealing with symptons and the disease for years and personally think it's only natural to have down days.   People without MS have days like that. We have emotions...

       

      I too have had the moments you talk about where I am frustrated...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      HI Jennifer,

      Being gentle with ourselves is a good thing.  I am 'new' to settling into a diagnosis. I've been dealing with symptons and the disease for years and personally think it's only natural to have down days.   People without MS have days like that. We have emotions...

       

      I too have had the moments you talk about where I am frustrated because I need to be aware of everything I do and pace myself and think of my body and am always reminded of how it reacts or is 'behaving or not'. And I've found myself feeling 'jealous' or 'angry' because i do and other might not.  It was particularly hard when in limbo and feeling extreme loneliness and isolation without an answer.  But it passes.  It's nothing that stays in my heart or is how I really feel.  It's a passing thing for me.  A moment, a day, a couple days.  It passes. Letting it just be and then letting it out and not internalizing the emotions is helpful to me. It can be a stress reliever to let it go so to speak. Then my heart is lighter and stronger and filled again with the love that I usually have an abundance of.   

       

      Everyone is different in how they handle or adapt to living with what we live with.  Thanks for posting it.  Very thoughtful and helps to read the emotional aspects and not always the science behind the disease.

      Best

      Sue