Listening to my own advice.  It is highly ironic that several recent posts have been discussing relapses and communicating with your doctor.  I experienced both on a personal level yesterday afternoon.

Living in Denial

In the past week or more, I have been feeling not my best.  Each day symptoms would begin to flare and I would hope to wake up the next morning feeling better.  One such evening, it was my eyes which were out of whack.  The color pink was beginning to fade, but the next morning things were back to normal.  There was no pain to report but one eye did appear darker than the other.  (Denial.)

More annoyingly, spasticity has been increasing behind my left leg.  The muscles have felt knotted and trying to stretch them out has been painful.  Baclofen had returned to a twice a day medication with modest benefit.  For me, when spasticity increases, my knees begin to hurt from the increased pull on them.  Living with joint pain anyways, that is one which takes me a while to associate in a timely fashion.  (Denial.)

I started having more difficulty getting up from a seated position and walking up the stairs.  I didn’t come up with a good excuse for that but just thought my symptoms were “acting up.”  But Thursday’s yoga class was very difficult for me.  My legs tried to convince me that I weighed two tons, but I told them back that there were sorely mistaken.  Some of the stretches focusing on the legs almost made me want to tear up.  (Less denial.)

After yoga class, my instructor commented that I had some difficulties.  “Yes, I know, my MS seems to be acting up lately.”  She let me know that the yoga would help with the MS.  She teaches other people living with MS.  But I did mention that I was “in denial” as I knew that I probably needed steroids but with a concert this weekend, I was hesitant.  As I left yoga class, my walking was definitely not smooth or steady.  (The Denial wall starts cracking.) 

Thursday night I made a plan to call the doctor’s office and get an appointment Monday morning and plan to stay for an infusion of Solumedrol.  With Thanksgiving next Thursday, that would mean I could get in three days of IVSM.  My initial plan was to avoid steroids over the weekend so that they wouldn’t interfere with my sleep, cause anxiety or headaches, tarnish my ever joyful mood (haha), or make my heart pound out of my chest.  (Denial mostly gone.)

By the way, my fatigue had returned in full force during the past week and a half (or so).

Calling the Doctor

Friday morning, I was definitely not walking as well.  I woke up, responded to some emails, and played a few computer games.  Then I called the neurology center where my health care team consists of the nurse practitioner (#1 in my book), my neurologist, the MS nurse on staff (whose direct number I had lost), and the infusion nurse extraordinaire (always gets a good stick quickly).  Having lost the MS nurse’s number, I called the main patient line covering the entire neurology clinic staffed with 12 neurologists, one of which is an MS specialist.