Has MS Changed Your Idea of Romance? Question of the Week

Lisa Emrich Health Guide February 20, 2012
  • “And what's romance? Usually, a nice little tale where you have everything as you like it, where rain never wets your jacket and gnats never bite your nose and it's always daisy-time.”-- D. H. Lawrence   Now that Valentine’s Day has come and gone, it seems to be a good t...

7 Comments
  • Vicki
    Health Guide
    Feb. 27, 2012

    Cut fruit and berries of all kinds. Of course, daily chocolate of all kinds.

     

    A gentle caress, a sweet kiss, a personal word. Yes it is different, but romance is here. I'm sure you will develop your own tradition after your marriage.

    • Lisa Emrich
      Health Guide
      Feb. 27, 2012

      So good to see you, Vicki!!

       

      "A gentle caress, a sweet kiss, a personal word."

       

      I like this too!  Rob and I will find our way and it will be an exciting adventure.  The more I think about it, the more I'm looking forward to it.  In the meantime, I'm really enjoying spending time not thinking about disease so much (link).

  • Michaelbgerber
    Feb. 20, 2012

    OMG! The answer is yes. As my physical abilities change and become more limited and I require more care and assistance, the definition of romantic changes too.

     

    There are hundreds of things that I would like to do to with and for my incredible wife, Gail. She is everything to me. My caregiver, on the other hand, is not. Don't get me wrong. He does a great...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    OMG! The answer is yes. As my physical abilities change and become more limited and I require more care and assistance, the definition of romantic changes too.

     

    There are hundreds of things that I would like to do to with and for my incredible wife, Gail. She is everything to me. My caregiver, on the other hand, is not. Don't get me wrong. He does a great job and having him here makes a big difference to all of us. But the idea of taking my wife and him to a hotel room for the night is not so appealing.  A day at the beach or in the mountains with her sounds fantastic. Yet, the idea of the 3 of us going seems different somehow.

     

     So what do I do instead? I ask questions and listen to her answers. I speak from my heart and confess my goals and fears. I also express my gratitude and do this almost every day and so does she. We give each other a lot of cards and write about how much we love each other. I will often throw in a small box of chocolate covered strawberries, but any chocolate will do. I have invested in flowers, pajamas and other non-essentials as my way of telling her that I love her. But most of all, by listening and confessing and expressing my gratitude, she knows that I love her. What could be more romantic than that?

     

     I often say that I love my wife more today than I did almost 32 years ago on our wedding day and I mean it. Living with MS has limited me physically. It has also taught me much about gratitude. Learning about gratitude and being more grateful, has helped me to become a better lover on Valentine's Day and everyday.

     

    • Vicki
      Health Guide
      Feb. 27, 2012

      Oh Michael, I cannot imagine you ever being anything but romantic.

       

      Chocolate covered strawberries? Enough said. The way you write about Gail, and I believe she talks about you the same way, says romance. Don't you know?

       

      Has it changed? Well, yes. Hasn't everything?

    • Lisa Emrich
      Health Guide
      Feb. 27, 2012

      Hi Michael,

       

      "But most of all, by listening and confessing and expressing my gratitude, she knows that I love her. What could be more romantic than that?"

       

      I love this!!  So very important in any relationship.  I would like to meet you and Gail someday, if only to be able to see the love for each other in your eyes.  :)

       

       ...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Hi Michael,

       

      "But most of all, by listening and confessing and expressing my gratitude, she knows that I love her. What could be more romantic than that?"

       

      I love this!!  So very important in any relationship.  I would like to meet you and Gail someday, if only to be able to see the love for each other in your eyes.  :)

       

       

    • Michaelbgerber
      Feb. 29, 2012

      That could happen sooner than you think. Our son lives in DC and will be getting married in June. We will be there for a week and I would love to meet you. Let's make it happen.

       

       Michael

    • Lisa Emrich
      Health Guide
      Feb. 29, 2012

      Very cool!!  I can come meet you.  Let's email closer to the date when you likely have more specific details regarding your trip.