You're brave to take on this important but sensitive subject
. I'm glad you did, and I wish the docs would do a better job of keeping it in mind. I have had some problem in this area (due mostly to cognitive/concentration problems I think). Even though I mentioned the problem to the doctors, I ended up with two prescriptions that are well known for causing more sexual problems. I'm going from bad to worse thanks to the meds!
Having said all that, there are some articles out there about MS suffers experiencing hypersexuality, increased libido, and the like. In a couple of cases this led to serious problems. (Google "multiple sclerosis" and hypersexuality or paraphilia.)
Sorry if I just gave everyone something else to worry about.
Thanks KJ for contributing to the discussion. I hope that we are able to create even more interaction as the series moves forward. Until researching this topic, it had not occurred to me that cognitive/attention issues would impact sexual function. I'm glad that you've mentioned that.
BTW, I did conduct the search you suggested. Very interesting the consequences of various types of brain damage (ie. lesions in just the right area). Now I should add that information to at least one of my upcoming posts for others to read. Thanks.
Lisa: This is a great topic that I think many people are afraid to discuss. This post was very informative and well written to describe the various problems that MS can cause regarding intimacy and sex. I've experienced many of the things you've discussed and it can be very frustrating at times. I think it would be interesting to hear how people overcome their sexual limitations due to MS. For me, I find that my meds dramatically affect my sex life. However, I need them so I am not spastic or in too much pain.
Balancing love, intimacy and sex has just become more challenging. However, I believe if your partner really loves you they will work with you to overcome such challenges. I look forward to your future posts on this topic.
Hi Lanette,
Balancing love, intimacy, and sex. Now that's the most important point. I hope that with increased discussion we can learn from each other and not feel so alone with this particular difficulty in our lives with MS. Let's face it - a satisfying sex life contributes to a higher quality of life.
Holly,
I agree that information is always good. Just knowing that this is an issue which so many of us deal with is reassuring itself. It's not something to be ashamed of any more than having a mild tremor or some blurry vision. All part of the package.
My neurologist had asked me during visits if I noticed any sexual issues right along side the question of any bladder or bowel issues. I hadn't thought much of it until a period of time where there were fewer issues. Now, I know enough to be upfront and honest. And since my lesions are focused in my neck, problems in the limbs and below the belt are much more likely.
OK from the woman's point of view, I really did not know these things were wrong with me until I read and understood MS. So now I know that as a woman I have to go the extra mile in order to achieve sexual pleasure like the regular woman. That being said, it can be fun, and not so bad. With all of the toys and sexual aids out there now getting there can be fun, expecially for your partner. If done right, he may think he has died and gone to heaven
Let me be a little more clearer if that is all right. There are oils that heat up with touch, these can enhance pleasure for both parties involved. I am going to stop right there until I get the go ahead to go further. I do not want to get in trouble. But this will give you a start. These oils can be purchased at your local drug store or online. Let there be no shame in your game, everybody does it
MS or not. More later
Sherry/smomdukes
thank you for writing on this subject. this is a subject I will be following because I also have some of the difficulties listed and I am interested in how to overcome them. my husband is a sexual person and gets depressed because I am not as interested, and the lack of passion, it is disheartening. I rarely feel sexual arousal and just recently realized it is from the MS. It is fustrating. Lisa...thanks....I will be interested in reading your final post...can't wait.
Lisa, you have got your work cut out for you darling You have hit the nail on the head. This is a subject that most females, and males also are dealing with that have MS. It apparently is one of the problems of the monster. There are ways to deal with with but, well you know, stop turning red I can see your face from here! Take care.
Sherry/smomdukes
OK the first thing before I realized that I had MS was "AM I normal" My husband was beginning to get frustrated with me. I was beginning to second guess myself. Am I cray or what, do I need spanish fly, no dummy, that is what they give to animals. But somebody needed to tell me something. Well low and behold, I find out that I have MS, well everything finally comes full circle, so I am not crazy after all. But ladies, there are things that we can do to correct this malfunction. My nuero told me that she could give me some meds, but then in the same breath, she was kind and caring enough to enlighten me to other little fun things..........lol got your attention keep reading, I got to get permission first!
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OK here I go again, seems like I am always the first to open my big mouth
Sex has always been something good girls do not talk about, well I am not your normal girl, I got MS! Yes for years I wondered was something wrong with me in the sex department, and low and behold, I had MS. It all came together or shall I say full circle. Now that I know, I know what to do, I know how to handle the situation, and believe me it makes life eaiser, try it you might like it! When you have MS sex is something that we have to work at, that is just the fact of the business. There are so many things out there to make it interesting even for those of us who are sextually challenaged. We may have to swing from the ceiling fan or the bed post!
No I am just kidding, you will probably end up breaking some bones for real, but if you read those web sites that are recommended you will find great information that really will help. Have fun with it, learn to find the joy in it, because it really can be fun! Sex is a part of life, we have MS, and MS really stands for More Sex, in case they did not tell you. I just let the cat out of he bag
Sherry/smomdukes
Sherry,
I'm so glad that MORE SEX is a topic of interest to you and hopefully ALL of our readers. There was one time where I didn't realize that there was trouble down there in those delicate parts......until I underwent Solumedrol for a relapse.....and waaaahoooo....sensations were alive again.
I'm looking forward to the final post of this series where we can discuss Toys, Tips, and Tools to enhance sexual function for those of us with MS so that we can enjoy MORE SEX. hehe....I really like those words for MS. Do you mind if I use that sometime?
Lisa, you go ahead, from this point on when we are refering to the subject of Sex and MS; MS now stands for More Sex!
use it away!
i was wondering what sites talk about the sex and ms i have looked at just about everything concering this issue as my boyfriend has ms and it is very hard for us in that department and i am trying to learn to deal with all that comes with ms so if you can can you help me understand this
thanks terrie
Terrie,
Sex and MS is a huge topic and it's wonderful that you are looking for information to help both you and your partner. Really good.
If you look at the 3rd page of this post, I have included links to the other posts in this series. There is one specifically geared to males with MS. Also, look for any comments following each post. Some offer good ideas and support.
Another thing you can do is click on the "MS and Sex" tag at the top of this post to find all of the related items shared here, especially helpful if other writers had written on this topic.
Lastly, feel free to send me a personal message with any questions you may have. When you register here, you can send messages easily to any other member including me.
I hope that this helps you get started on your search for information. I agree with you - not much has been written on this topic which is easy to understand.
lisa
Terri, send me an email on this site then we can talk. sherry/smomdukes