Multiple Sclerosis: Sex Toys, Tips and Tools

Lisa Emrich Health Guide July 22, 2009
  • “Let's talk about sex, babyLet's talk about you and meLet's talk about all the good thingsAnd the bad things that may beLet's talk about sex” - Lyrics by Salt ‘n’ Pepa   So we’ve been talking about sex, intimacy, sexual dysfunction, and multiple sclerosis here ...

4 Comments
  • Vicki
    Health Guide
    Jul. 26, 2009

    Lisa,


    Thank you for this series.  Sex is such an important part of our daily lives, and MS certainly changes how we view it and also how we do (or no longer do) it.  We are still sexual beings. Thanks for the tips.

     

    There is a lot of good information spread through these articles.

  • Anonymous
    loving but desp...
    Jul. 20, 2012

    My wife has had MS since '92. Within 9 months of being diagnosed she was on long-term disability and legally (but not completely) blind.  Sex, for us disappeared a few years later and has been non-existent  for about 15 years. She cannot move very much or very well but that wouldn't be a problem.

       The problem is that she is afraid an orgasm...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    My wife has had MS since '92. Within 9 months of being diagnosed she was on long-term disability and legally (but not completely) blind.  Sex, for us disappeared a few years later and has been non-existent  for about 15 years. She cannot move very much or very well but that wouldn't be a problem.

       The problem is that she is afraid an orgasm will upset her body/system/physical abilities.  She used a vibrator to masturbate to orgasm last year (mid 1011) and kind of liked it because she could proceed faster or slower on her own. But she says it took her a few days to fully recover from the orgasm and she is afraid to try to have another and she will not play around with or for me and will not let me touch her.

       I love her more than anything but I desperately need some intimacy with her.  She has told me to go out and find someone to have sex with but, for me, that is not an option.

      

  • msbpodcast
    Jul. 22, 2009

    I have always been struck by the Anglo attitudes towards sex.

     

    Must be a Puritan thing that they've misinterpreted since the founding of this country.

     

    The Puritans were definitely a lusty bunch and not shy in the least about sex either.

     

    What they were all about had to do with confounding issues of legacy and legitimacy. (That was never an...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I have always been struck by the Anglo attitudes towards sex.

     

    Must be a Puritan thing that they've misinterpreted since the founding of this country.

     

    The Puritans were definitely a lusty bunch and not shy in the least about sex either.

     

    What they were all about had to do with confounding issues of legacy and legitimacy. (That was never an issue in any matrilinial society, such as those of the Amerinds.)

     

    That's was why theee were edicts about sex within a union and no polygamy, polyandry or polyamory.

     

    They were trapped by their own patrilinial society into edicts of chastity and fidelity.

     

    They were also wrong about half of the time. (The 50% divorce rate came from within, not from wave after wave of barbarian hordes descending from the steppes and "doing the unspeakable".)

     

    Until the nineties and DNA testing, you never knew who your father was (in fact you weren't sure who your mother was,) and either you had to assume all kinds of things, or what really mattered was who really loved you and took care of you.

     

    Its like Québec after General James Wolfe, (he's in wikipedia.) The Québecois were screwed and being deported like the Acadiens (who became the 'Cajuns in Louisiana,) until some of the priests realized that it was a battle of demographics.

     

    So we literally and very lustfully screwed the Anglo back, by lying on our backs (well the women saved Québec) until the 1960's.

     

    Then there was "La Révolution Tranquille" ("The Quiet Revolution") when we were numerous enough to throw the Anglo bosses out of the provinces, and incidentally we also threw the priests out of our bedrooms and the religious institution out of our birth records.

     

    The birthrate in Québec plunged, but people were still having sex.

     

    Its just that the consequences were a lot more pleasant after "La Révolution Tranquille"

  • Anonymous
    Jen
    Jul. 22, 2009

    This is an interesting series, Lisa. I agree that the mind can be the biggest aphrodisiac and sometimes the mental connection alone can set off sexual sparks. Couples who have been together for a while (without either partner having MS) can have slumps too. So being open to new ideas is important for all couples and there shouldn't be embarrassment or secrecy...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    This is an interesting series, Lisa. I agree that the mind can be the biggest aphrodisiac and sometimes the mental connection alone can set off sexual sparks. Couples who have been together for a while (without either partner having MS) can have slumps too. So being open to new ideas is important for all couples and there shouldn't be embarrassment or secrecy about the issue(s.) Easier said than done.

     

    I have no tips or tricks except to allow both partners to feel as comfortable and as understood as possible and to be flexible with expectations.