Mental Health and MS: Depression Causes

Happy to know it's not my imagination playing tricks on me. During a relapse I get very depressed and angry. Everything is grey and there's not much I can do to change that state of mind. Now that I know that steroids can affect your mood, I'll be prepared for next time. Thank you so much for this post!

Lisa,

I can say that I understand exactley how you felt. It is odd that your post was today as I will explain below.

Twenty years ago TODAY, I was renting a house in Charlotte N.C. I had also re-married for the 2nd time and had two children (from my first marriage) ages 5 and 12. My (then) husband was a policeman. I had put the kids to bed and I was going to bed also.

My husband said he was not going to bed because Hurricane Hugo was heading our way. I said, " No way is a hurricane coming this far inland." Boy, was I wrong. I was not in bed 10 minutes and the tree limbs started whipping the side of the house. We got the kids and placed them in a safe room in the house. The next morning, it looked like every tree had fallen to the ground.

We went without power for 3 weeks, Lost all of our food in a freezer that we had just stocked with a side of beef.

We went wothout a phone for 2 weeks. We did have water. We would take water to family that did not have water and we would use their phone. We did not have cell phones at the time. School was out for over 2 weeks, most businesses were close for 3-5 days.

I had just started on a trial with Copaxone and at the time it had to be frozen. I lost it all. We had coolers, but had to stand in line for over an hour to purchase Ice , and was limited to 2 bags. Copaxone was so new and in the early stages od a trial and I was told to not use it. So I had to pitch it all out and did not get more until we had our power returned to us.

We would take showers and baths by oli lamp. I worked for a bank, we had a makeshift daycare for over 2 weeks and fed both breakfast and lunch to children.

I was so proud of power, water,and phone service when it was all over.

Thanks for your post.

BR and I often feed off one another's "energy".  After his diagnosis and rapid progression, I fell into a deep depression.  I had never been faced with such an insurmountable problem.  It took therapy to get me to a point where I could accept the fact that he may never overcome the disabilities, that it wasn't my fault if he didn't, and that it is OK for me to "separate" from BR and do things that I enjoy on my own when he is not able to participate.  Climbing out of that hole had a positive effect on both of us, and the relationship as a whole.

I agree completely that each exacerbation and progression can reset the process and throw us both back into a depression.

Another great post - it really stuck me re: the self image -Being self counscious about the way I look when i walk, the way I perceive my eyes to look (I figure they must look funny if I'm seeing double! Half my face was saggy for about 8 months - much better now tho-  I almost have a difficult time now looking people in the eyes because of being self consicous.  Took me quite a while to feel comfortable going out by myself for fear of how I looked to others.  I've gotten to a point right now anyway, where i don't care what they think anymore.  It is what it is.   Being with friends is also frustrating at times when i can't sometimes carry on a conversation - forgetting where I am in a discussion or words just coming out wrong.

seasonal- yes -  that's totally true for me too - with SAD happening in summer.

this is so great and it helps to have it to explain to family or hubby when it's hard to put into words myself.