10-19-11

This has been a year of tornadoes and not just the kind that come out of the sky and touch the ground.  

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I've  thought alot about what I wrote yesterday.  Since being diagnosed, I've been reminded many times that my story is similiar to so many of the folks who have MS.  In fact, I'm certain others have stories far worse than my own, but it is only my story that I can tell.  I've only got my shoes to wear.

I'll admit.  Telling this is a as much a selfish venture as it is anything else, because I feel a need to get these words out.  Telling my story helps me to continue accepting the realities of MS.  Maybe it will help keep me sane and as healthy as I can be.  This is a place where I can share with others who are dealing with similar stories. 

These daily thoughts and feelings are not always something that can be shared with friends or family, because I don't want it to always be about me when I'm with them.  Everyone has their own unique problems.  I don't want my loved ones to dread spending time with me.  I don't want them to search for "the right words" to say to try and console me.  I know this kind of thing can make people feel uncomfortable sometimes and I don't want them to feel that way.  Most of all I don't want their pity, because I don't feel sorry for myself.  You can bet I was shocked when I was diagnosed, but I'm no wuss and neither is anyone else who has the little monster.  With God's guidance, we can handle whatever comes next.

On a side note, I've since learned that other people call it the "monster".  I first started saying this to help explain MS to my youngest niece.  She knew I had been sick and she had a few questions for me.  I explained the illness by telling her about a monster who lives in my brain.  This explanation worked great.  She has decided he is a green monster with purple ears.  I love the imaginations of children!  They make me smile!  :)

I feel very blessed. My health has been good today. I hope everyone feels like this.

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This has been a year of storms.  A young man I know lost his life today.  I want to honor his memory.  He was loved by so many people.  My heart goes out to his parents.  It seems out of the natural order when things like this happen to such a young life, but I know the Lord had a plan and tonight this child is in a better place.  He is with the Lord.  It is the kind of thing that makes MS seem like no big deal for me.